I’ve been divorced now for almost 7 years. It is on my heart to start
a class for divorced people at our South Jersey Church. Our minister’s sermon confounded
that need in me even more. His sermon was on a question from the congregation……”Can
a loving God send anyone to Hell?. He reached into Luke 16 19-31. His sermon was based
on this with the allegory of lots of people getting on a bus.
The bus arrived at “the land of milk and honey” and all that had to offer. One by one, each rider was met with a guide who showed him/her all that could be had. Each one, sad to say, chose to get back
on the bus. In this allegory, the bus went back to Hell, i.e. the old way of living. I guess this put a new spin on divorce for me. There are many reasons we married whom we did when we did………and in many senses, life became Hell. I believe God knows our hearts, our sorrows and our minds. Sometimes, He shows us a better life, i.e. Heaven.
But, the Church and people in general, cannot see that. It believes once married always married unless there is adultery. I, though, believe a loving God knows all. I believe He shows us that change is okay. Think of all the ways that change is okay aside from adultery. The Church is very narrow in its sanctimonious view, and that is why there is no real help for those who are divorced. I think this view causes much division and
hurt. I personally have found my God to know my pain and through my prayers and listening, I have heard him say that He loves me and does have a better way if I will just get on the bus. Any of the Ten Commandments can be broken……..and there is not one human who hasn’t broken at least one. Divorce has become the convenient “stepchild”. The Church is very uncomfortable with it… WHY? This is not Disneyland where happy couples dance off into the Life of Happily Ever After. People change. I
will say that I know the hand of God has been on me. I know he knew my pain and took
care of me by giving me my Rick. I hope you’ll answer me, and thank you for a website to
address this……..hopefully in an open manner.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Hi Susan thanks for taking the time to post. I agree that the bible doesn’t tolerate divorce as a general rule with the exception of adultry and an unbeliever leaving and filing. In either case the spouse left is freed from their obligation in God’s eyes.
However I don’t always think that divorce is the answer. God wants to work in miraculous ways if we let him. Unfortunately it takes two to agree to work on the relationship. It hurts to think that the divorce rate among Christians is that of non-Christians yet I have to remind myself that I am a sinner and the sin of divorce is not the unforgivable sin.
Divorce can be very destructible on a person’s life, especially when children are involved. That is what I struggle with the most but by the grace of God I make it day-after-day.
I used to think that the church didn’t do enough to comfort and help people going through divorce but then I realized that it may not be their fault. Typically if there is a need the church steps up. I see programs start and are later shut down. I assume because there is a lack of attendence. When I was going through a divorce I was an emotional wreck and I don’t know if I could of handled group therapy.
Yet I found comfort in friends and pastors to help get me through it.
God Bless