Question from Adriana

by Jason Deines

in Tips for Coping with Divorce

Jason,
I just have one question. Did your wife had any consequences for how she rebelled before God when she divorced you and left with another man? The same happened to me with my husband and sometimes the devil attacks me with thoughts that He will live happy with her and will be with her the way he never was with me. I know those thoughts are not from God but just wondered about your wife.


{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason

Hi Adriana, I used to think many of the same things. That my ex was not going to be punished and that she could do whatever she wanted. It was and is hard for me because she seems to have very little difficulty meeting new boyfriends. And I am here trying to be faithful to God and yet still single, year after year.

What I realized is I was focusing on the wrong person. Whether she suffers consequences or not really should not matter to me. I should be focusing on myself and let God deal with her. Since I don’t see her much I don’t know how she feels on the inside.

However, YES she has suffered consequences for the choices she has made. She has not had a stable living environment for the past few years and I still get a call every now and then with her blaming for her miserable life.

I think we all face consequences for our mistakes but whether we think they are strong enough or not is for God to determine. I know with all the sin in my life, I should be burning in a very hot place but thanks to Gods’ grace that isn’t going to happen.

BTW, kick that devil out of your head when he throws crap like that your way… I spent last weekend dealing with the same thing. So it is very interesting that you asked this question.

God Bless

2 Jeremy

Ugh..I am struggling with this issue big time in my healing. My exwife had her affair in our home while we where separated “working on things” and has since remarried to him less than 1 month after our divorce. She lives in my former home with him and seems to be moving right along happier than ever..It’s devastating and I don’t know where God fits into this mess.

3 Adriana

Jeremy,
After I asked that question a few days ago, God showed me that no matter what thoughts come to my mind, HE STILL IS IN CONTROL. Yes,it hurts to know they have someone else. Yets, it hurts to feel rejected and as if we have no worth. Allow God to embrace you with His love. Believe me, there are days when I feel down but it doesn’t compare to the joy and strength the Lord has given me. I know I’m worthy because of what Christ did for me. Imagine. He loves me so much that he died for me even before I was created. And guess what? God has brought women to my life that are going exactly through what I’m going through and He is using my situation and trial to bring hope to those women. Remember God’s promises are real. In Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Even when we don’t understand it. Just one thing. Don’t give up on God. He will contiue strengthening you. May God bless you.

4 Manuel Q

Adriana, thank you and God Bless You!! I needed to hear that. My ex was living with her affair before we were divorced and I felt the life being sucked out of me, but the blessing was being reunited with Jesus. I never cursed God but I sure did question Him. He humbled me and what a blessing it has turned out to be. Don’t get me wrong I still have tears and pain but it is less and less every day. This site is a blessing too, I pray for all of us in pain and you are right, he has strengthed me, I am a better father, friend, son and most of all a loving Christian. God Bless!!

5 Jeremy

It’s hard..to not give up on God. I’ve read and tried to believe all the promises that God makes and to feel His comfort during this time but none of it makes any sense. It’s frustrating. Sometimes I feel like after everything I have subjected to that even God by giving her the life she hows now is saying it was okay what she did. Even He is not seeking retribution for my pain and betrayal. It’s hard to watch other people benefit from wronging me.

6 Jason

Jeremy,

all I can recommend is to let it go. Rest assured that God will and is dealing with her in His own way. Sometimes I think what would of happened if God never showed me any mercy. Hang in there, while you are focusing on her you are going to miss out on the blessings God has for you. Plus seeing others suffer isn’t as satisfying as one would hope, atleast that is what I found out from my own experience.

7 Mark

There are always consequences from sin. It may take years for them to manifest themselves. Like Jason, I would concern myself about whether your spouse suffers or not from their sin. Build your rewards in heaven. We will be there for ever and on this earth only a twinkling of an eye. Pray that your spouse is saved or reconcilled to Christ.

8 Jackie

All these questions about consequences. Absolutley there are! And if you ever really loved your ex spouse as God asks us to love, you really would not want them to hurt so deeply…if so then I might look again at what love is. We saw God’s love when Christ, after being spit on, mocked, beaten and REJECTED, said “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Take it from someone who is reaping these consequences as I type this. I’m being honest about my failures and my sin because I think it might help you. I left my first husband, who was an acoholic and verbally abusive (did this give me an excuse to leave and cheat? NO). I am a Christian and I did this. There is not a day that goes by that I dont feel deep, painful remorse for sinning against my God and hurting my ex husband so deeply. I have asked for his and God’s forgivness. I need that forgivness. I ended up getting married to the man I left my husband for. We’ve been married for 14 years. He is divorcing me now as he is having an affair on me. Sounds like consequences to me. I am sad for him as I know that there will be very painful consequences for him too. I want to tell everyone dont fall into the enemies trap of cheating or having unforgivness. The enemy is deceitful and there are always consequences when we don’t obey God’s Word. Why, because no good thing will come from the enemy, only death. I have learned that God has forgiven me and He is not punishing me but he is allowing me to reap the consequences of my own choices to disobey. I am so thankful for God’s amazing grace, unconditional love and forgivness. I am planning on giving this same unconditional love and forgivness to my soon to be ex husband who has hurt me deeply. I have to forgive and love him. God has forgiven me of much, how could I not do the same.

Sincerly,
Jackie

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