Trusting God in Hard Times

by Jason Deines

in Tips for Coping with Divorce

During a recent Sunday service the pastor prayed that we would be able to trust in the Lord when our lives have not turned out the way we would of wanted or they are not going how we would like. Of course that is a good thing to pray for especially with all that is going on with the economy these days.

I have felt this way and still do feel this way at times. There are things that I want and that I feel should be different in my life to make it better. I quickly realized that the only reason to pray such a prayer would be due to not being obedient to God and doing His will. If we are to follow God and abide by His word then our lives are going to be better than we could of ever imagined. It is with fleshly desires and expectations while putting ourselves above all else that we end up in a situation where we are disappointed in our lives.

None of us are perfect and we are bound to make mistakes that make us question where we are at in our lives but I find it difficult at times to trust God or how to trust God. So what do we do when in this kind of situation? The pastor had these 5 points to help trust God in hard times while moving forward.

  1. Keep communicating with God through prayer
  2. Consider internal posture. Are you a victim? A contributor? Are you paralyzed or can you act? From a divorce standpoint I felt like a victim and I was terribly wronged. However, I refuse to live life as a victim. I have seen, first hand, what it does to people and I am not going to blame everyone for my problems. Later I realized that I was a contributor, both good and bad. Here is where forgiveness and repentance play its role. When it comes to our own individual behavior we can almost always act, it may take time for the shock of some things to wear off but we can act!
  3. Consider who is watching you. This is a good one to remember. Where are your children? Are they seeing how you learn from difficult times? Do they understand what it is all about? I remember times when I had to go get Madalyn from her mom because her mom was having one of her “moments”. It would break my heart and I would show up with tears in my eyes. One time my little girl put her hand on my cheek, looked me in the eyes, and told me it was going to be all right. (She was 2 years old) A child’s compassion and gentle encouragement had broken me and I vowed at that moment to not let my weakness show. That happened over 2 years ago and it sometimes feels like yesterday.I love talking about my little kid so I am going to tell one more story. Last weekend we were playing one of our games that she loves to play called “power ranger”. She is the power ranger and I am the power ranger hunter. Its basically king of the mountain on the bed and the floor is the hot lava or as she would say wava. It is a pillow fight and wrestling match where I tend to win. Anyhow, she surprisingly gets my sleeve off my arm, which forces me to lose the shirt in order to win the match. She calls time out and runs out of the room. She comes back in after a quick change of the clothes, she dressed just like me with socks blue jeans and no shirt. I ask what she is doing and she says, I want to be like you daddy.” It was so cute, poor kid thinks she wants to be like me. The point is our children want to be like their parents and we need to show them healthy godly ways of dealing with the good and the bad.
  4. Look outside ourselves. Is there anyone that we can help?
  5. Hold on to God’s character and ways. I lose track of this sometimes and I think that God is punishing me for all the bad I have done. That God is holding me back from the success I desire. Both of which are not God’s heart. God is a loving forgiving God. I should TRUST Him, He wants what is best for me and you!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Danelle

This is a question I have wanted to ask for a while. A well meaning pastor and wonderful person said no marriage is beyond God to repair. He told me to watch “Fireproof” and keep praying and praying for my marriage to be restored and I feel like it might be a false hope because my husband seems further and further away and he seems very happy when he talks to the kids on the phone. I request prayer at church every chance I get for my marriage and my husbands salvation. Does anyone have any thoughts?

2 Danelle

And another question pointed to you Jason….please do not take this the wrong way. But if that is you on the home page why have you not found you a good christian woman yet? You are an attractive person. And I mean that respectfully as I am a married woman myself.

3 Jason

Danelle,

I sometimes wonder why I can’t find a new meaningful relationship but I think it comes down to putting God before myself. Sometimes I get caught up in what I want and I get in God’s way. Also it has taken some time to heal since the divorce. I have only been divorced for a little over 2-years. Lastly, I don’t frequent establishments that host a lot of single women, bars and such. It can be hard meeting new people some times.

As for your other question, I do believe that God can heal any marriage. Keep on praying because you never know what He may do. However, God isn’t going to force some body to do something they don’t want. Keep on hoping and getting that prayer.

4 Jeffrey L Hawthorne

i have been married for 8yrs wife told she want her freedom. My heart hit rock bottom i love my wife like their is no tomorrow and i having a hard giving space to her. She give her space to figure out thing but it is a very lonely raod with out her around and im trying to trust god but when miss someone that has been everything to you it really hurts my family with my son is all i have and their is nothing more important than being with and watching my son grow up and being theri for my family. In the pass i have made mistake but now i realize i was living thing that i didnt need now i feel like im being punishiment for all time and we all make mistake and i learn my leasson. My and son my weak point in my life i would give anything to be able to hold my wife again and never take her for granted again please pray for me and the strength that god has given me. God said he make no mistake and leaving was my greatest mistake that i will ever regret.

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