Forgiving God

by Jason Deines

in Tips for Coping with Divorce

When it comes to forgiveness we typically think of God forgiving us not the other way around.  I’m not exactly sure how that works because how can you forgive when you haven’t been wronged?  Needless to say I found myself blaming God for not saving my marriage.  I blamed God for me not being able to see my child each day and I blamed God for allowing me to marry “that woman”.  God knew from the beginning how this was going to play out and He is all powerful so why didn’t He do something to stop it?

For weeks I pleaded with God to intervene and  I would get so angry when He wouldn’t. I had lost all hope!  A pastor friend had to explain to me that God has given each and every one of us free-will and He wouldn’t force my wife to change her mind.  He wasn’t going to simply make all the pain and all the bad choices go away.  We need to give God permission to work in our lives and if we don’t then He won’t. 

Even though I clearly had no foundation to blame God I still had to forgive God and myself for the marriage failing.  I had to move forward with my life and stop living in the past.  I had to stop assigning blame and stop being resentful.  This is what God wants and if you have ever been around someone with a victim mentality you know how depressing that can be I simply would not allow myself to become a victim so I had to let God work in my life and to do that I had to forgive.


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