True Forgiveness

by Jason Deines

in Tips for Coping with Divorce

When you think about forgiveness it seems pretty simple of a concept to grasp. I often tell people that I have forgiven my ex for the divorce and other things but then I catch myself wishing that God would punish her for what she did. Kind of harsh isn’t it?

I have been divorced for over 2 years now and felt I was making pretty good progress on moving on. This morning I woke up thinking about my exwife and how I wish bad things would happen to her. I know exactly where these feelings are coming from, because I miss my daughter. If you have gotten to know me at all you know that the one thing I hate is not being able to see her everyday.

So anyhow, I am sitting at church and I begin to read the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is “deciding that someone who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay.” They don’t have to pay!!! Come on now, that just isn’t fair! But it is true. If God never forgave me for all of my transgressions I would end up in a very HOT dark place. I have been forgiven so much and yet I appear to be holding on to some unforgiveness towards my ex.

To be honest I don’t think I need to go all the way back to the drawing board on this one. I think that there are times when it is easier to forgive than others and I think that we can come under attack by the enemy. In my heart I truly want to forgive and I think I have come a long ways in that department. But on ocassion I think my flesh and spirit are going to have to battle it out.

Forgiveness doesn’t always come over night but if you work at it and give it up to God it will come. We aren’t going to be perfect and sometimes feelings creep up that might make us feel angry but that doesn’t mean we aren’t making progress. Each day has its challenges and the key is to keep pressing on.


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Betsy

I understand completely about true forgiveness. My ex husband cheated on me with two different girls during and after my second pregnancy. Right now I am disappointed with the fact that he is married to what seems to be a great person and I am struggling to find the right man for me and my children. I have put total faith in God that he has a plan for me (which hopefully involves some wonderful man). So don’t feel like you are the only one with these feelings because you’re not.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: