Divorce can be very painful, and it can take months or years to recover from its effects. However, there are healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms that can either help or hinder your healing progress. Many people don’t have the resources or skills to cope with the loss and pain that comes from divorce – some have a natural talent, and the point is we need each other help to survive.
Those that don’t know how to cope may turn to addictive behavior to deal with life. Alcohol, drugs, overeating, spending money you don’t have, and smoking is a common coping mechanism used by people today; obviously, they aren’t the most beneficial and at most numb the pain but healing never really takes place. That is why day-after-day they continue to cope by numbing themselves until one day they hit rock bottom and decide to make a change for the better. By this time they have many more issues to deal with than when they originally started.
Another negative coping mechanism is the building of so-called barriers, “I’m not going to let anyone get close to me again.” For one this isn’t how God would want us to live, and secondly, it isn’t healthy behavior. We need companionship and love, not that we all are called to be married, but by building unhealthy barriers, you affect all your relationships.
On the other side of the coin, there are healthy coping mechanisms, and these include; getting help from a Christian counselor, pastor, friends, family, or maybe a mentor. Letting people into your life to help you through a tough time is a blessing to you and them. Instead of running away from God and people run to them! Instead of building unhealthy barriers learn what it means to build healthy ones. Take time to self-evaluate and make changes in your life. Eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising are all important things to do when dealing with divorce. I understand the difficulty associated with staying motivated, but you need to try. After you get through the pain and loss, you will be stronger and better. Ultimately that is the point, not to be cold-hearted, bitter, broke, hopeless, and an addict. Which will you choose?