Does God Exist

Submitted by Melissa

I am in the process of divorce. My husband and I were married for 24 years. He left in August, but tried to reconcile in November, 2009 and February/March, 2010. I am SO angry at everyone that I find it hard to function some days. When he moved out of our home, he moved in with his whore. He said that he had been having a relationship with her for 4 years. The pastor at my church and I have know each other for many years. He told me I was going “through the valley of the shadow of death.” Right now, I don’t trust anyone and feel that if god really existed, this would not have happened. If god knows what we are going to do, then why didn’t he prepare me better for this crap? My husband has turned into a person that I don’t even recognize, mean letters, nasty text messages and not paying the bills like he is suppose to. He blames me that our children do not want to have a relationship with him. I’m just SO angry and truly believe that god does not exist. I have cried out to him in utter despair and deep, deep pain and I hear nothing. Not even a hint that he cares. If this is what god is about, no thanks.

4 Replies to “Does God Exist”

  1. Melissa,

    It is obvious that you are very angry right now and that is understandable. To be frank you aren’t the only one that feels this way. I would almost bet that 90 percent of Christians on the receiving end of divorce ask themselves the same thing – “Why didn’t God stop this from happening?” I know I did and I even considered giving myself over to the world but I realized that would only make my life worse.

    You want to know why God didn’t prepare you for this? How would that look? Would you need to be exposed to people of divorce weekly, monthly, or yearly? The only way to be prepared for something is to live it, wouldn’t you think? You can’t blame God for your husband’s sins and you can’t expect God to take away our free will. I wanted that too but it just isn’t realistic. Melissa, there are children starving to death, being raped, murdered, enslaved and abused – those are the things that make me wonder if God exists! I think that is much worse than divorce. I am not knocking the pain of divorce, I am simply trying to give you some persective. Without Jesus there is no hope and that is not how anyone should live their lives.

    Work through your anger, it is okay. Tell God how you feel, I said some terrible things to Him and He did not strike me down. I understand the world as you know it has been turned upside down but it will stabalize and you will look back and see how God got you through it.

  2. Melissa I can relate to your anger, Most of us who have been left by our spouse have felt the same way at one time or another. However it is your choice to become bitter or better. You can stay angry and harbor bitterness that will keep you in self pity and a victim mentality or you can start thanking God for the blessings you do have.I know it’s really hard, I’m still in divorce court after 37 years and 4 children. I kept being told to forgive him and to pray for him, but I couldn’t. When I realized that refusing to do that was only keeping me from enjoying the peace and joy that God was wanting me to have. I continued to beg God to give me the heart to forgive and desire to pray. My main focus was to get set free from the hurt, pain, broken dreams etc. When my heart got right with God to forgive my husband, He did give me the grace and strength to do it. I still struggle with thoughts and being tormented and hurt over the past but I think that is only normal and we all experience it. I can only say that if you make pleasing God your first priority and want to forgive because that is a command to us by God, then you will start to heal emotionally. We can’t receive God’s blessings and have peace until we get our heart’s right with him. God Bless you

  3. I so understand your anger, what you’re going through is so unfair and it definitely sucks. But its not Gods doing, I’m sure God is mad about it too! Try not to see God as the enemy, while you’re directing your anger at him he can’t help you. People told me to forgive and then I would feel better, but I had to feel better before I could forgive. People tend to want us to do these things before we’re even close to being ready. Gods not like that. He knows where we’re at and he’s cool with it. Honestly, he’s not the villian of the story, he’s the hero who wants to rescue you from the bad guy, that’s the truth. So look to him and let him.

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