Fight for Your Children

Fight for What is Important

by Jason Deines

in Child Custody and CoParenting, Featured

I don’t often talk about parenting, co-parenting, or custody issues because people are at so many different stages with their kids, those that have them, that is. Plus I am no lawyer and I definitely am not a judge of what makes a good parent or not.

Things have been extremely crazy in my life; I should have a show on daytime TV as a soap. At times I simply feel I am going to have a breakdown but you know there is one thing out there that helps me remain grounded and look forward to what tomorrow has – my daughter.

I am fortunate enough to have 75 percent custody of her however, I miss her tremendously the 25 percent I don’t have. I know that there are many guys out there that feel they get the short end of the stick when it comes to child custody. In fact, it used to be that way – moms generally get the kids. And I think many spouses use the kids to hurt the other because they were hurt by their spouse. Anger makes people act irrationally and ultimately it is the kids that suffer.

Anyhow, as I am looking back on things I am grateful for how much time I did get with my daughter but I should have fought for more in the beginning. I knew my ex had problems but I chose to ignore them and for nearly 3 years I regretted what I had done.

I strongly believe that children need both parents to thrive and if one parent is struggling with addictions, mental illness, or dangerous behavior then the other needs to do what it takes to protect the child.

The point I am really trying to make with fight for what is important is to not settle for what society has suggested to be the norm. Fight for your children! Fathers make just as good parents as mothers and mothers are just as good as fathers so consider what is best for your children and go for it.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mark

I couldn’t agree more.

My wife was diagnosed as bipolar, and had 2 affairs, before I took a stand. She moved in with her second lover, and I filed for custody.

I got primary custody, but not sole custody, which is what I was trying for.

Men need to take a stand for their children, when mental illness, or addictions prevent their ex from being the best parent for their children.

2 Jason

Parents need to come to an agreement when it comes to the children and I don’t think gender should be the deciding factor. My ex is bipolar as well, though she won’t admit it, which makes matters worse. It is much better when they understand there is a problem and are getting help. Nevertheless, women aren’t born with a parenting manual just like us men and we can do a good job as long as we try and learn from our mistakes.

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