This post is primarily for men. I am simply passing along information and not looking for a long heated debate.
None of us want to come home and hear from our spouse’s lips, “I want a divorce.” I remember the day my wife told me. It was nearly 11 pm, and I was drifting off to sleep when she woke me because she wanted to talk. Knowing that if I didn’t let her speak her mind, I would not get any sleep. Little did I expect to hear what came next. So much for a good night’s rest – after her informing me of the divorce. I think back and wonder why the heck she couldn’t wait a few more hours before breaking the news to me. She had been planning it for some time the least she could have done was let me get a good nights sleep. Oh, how I digress…
The point is women tend to lead the way on filing for divorce. According to a study published in the American Law and Economics Review women tend to file for divorce more than 60 percent of the time. States with the no-fault divorce (neither party has to show wrongdoing) it is over 70 percent. I am not trying to scare men out there, but this puts you at a disadvantage. Chances are your spouse has been contemplating and planning the divorce for some time. If they talk to a lawyer, they are given guidance on what they should and should not do, many times strengthening their case against you, and you don’t even know it.
I would like to say times are changing and men see more favorable outcomes in court. However, I am uncertain this to be the case. The point is that when we finally hear of the divorce it has has been in the planning stages for some time. I was in such shock that I did not contest much, and luckily all I lost was a few thousand dollars. Money is just money and can be replaced but what about when it comes to your children? There are so many mistakes a person can make and not even know it. If you can – get advice from a lawyer as soon as you hear about the divorce. If you can’t afford a lawyer contact the county courthouse for other options, they might have resources that will help. Don’t let the fact that you were blind-sided by this whole ordeal and that they appear to have the upper-hand keep you from fighting for what is essential.