Submitted by Cindy
I was married at the age of 16 to my first husband because I had gotten pregnant and I was not a christian at the time. After 3 1/2 years of marriage I divorced my first husband because he cheated on me. A year and a half later I married my second husband. When I married my second husband I was not a christian. Fast forward 10 yrs: I gave my life to Christ and my second husband and I have two children together plus my child from my first marriage. However 9 out of these 10 yrs my second husband has been battleling a crack-cocaine addiction and an alcohol addiction as well. Because of these addictions, he sometimes comes home in the early morning hours or not at all. Also, there’s been plenty of times when he has spent his entire paycheck on crack-cocaine and because of this, there’s been times where we had to live a life of pawning things and because if this we have little to show materialistcally for our 10yrs of marriage(I’m a stay-at-home mom). I always forgive him, he says he’ll never do it again, that he will stop drinking, he will stop doing drugs. He does stop for a while but then the cycle starts all over again. I have prayed for him, I’ve tried to help him in anyway that I can and he’s tried christian re-hab. I guess he’s a christian. He gave his life to Christ several years after I did. He does go to church and he does love God. Overall, I know he loves me (he doesn’t want me to leave him) and I love him too and he is a good and very attentive and helpful father to all of our children. He does have a kind heart. My thing is I just can’t stand this cycle anymore. Even though he goes to church and loves God, he can’t seem to let go of the beer and drugs. Many christian people have told me I am better off without him and that God doesn not want me living this kind of life. Like I mentioned before, this repetative cycle that we’ve been in for the past 9 years is not healthy for us or our children. I have made a choice to leave him (again). I have seperated from him many times before because of his addictions. However, this time I am seriously considering divorce. I honestly don’t think he’s going to change. I know the only one who can change him is God. Am I wrong to consider divorce and actually divorce him?