Time for Closure

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Mary Lynn

my exhusband divorce me and married his affair partner and is now currently married to her. He has always maintained a relationship with me and we are in our eighth year of seperation, but he continues to call me and we talk weekly. He says he still loves me and when I ask him to say he will never come home he will not say it and gets very uncomfortable. He will not give us closure and says I need to spend time with him and act as normal as possible. I can’t stop grieving over the loss of our marriage and doing things together with our kids. He won’t leave his affair partner, but he won’t stop seeing me either. I would wait forever if I thought he would eventually come home…this is my story.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason

In my opinion there is very little chance that you will get back together with your ex. For starters, he is married and if he leaves his current wife commits sin of adulty and takes you with him. He needs to be made aware that your relationship with him is strictly business. The only conversations you need to be having is about the children. Sounds like he may be getting ready to do to his current wife what he did to you. You are his security blankey and I think he is manipulating you to make himeslf feel good.

You can have closure without him doing a thing but you need to stand up for yourself. He isn’t “coming home” and if by some chance he does you will be the “other woman” this time and you won’t get the satisfaction you think you will. Only heartache because chances are he will screw you over again and again. If he tells you he loves you then tell him, “that is nice so what do you need because I am meeting up with some friends and need to get going”. It has been 8 years it is definately time for closure and it is up to you whether you get it or not.

2 Donna

I completely agree with Jason. You are just letting your heart get ripped to pieces by continuing to allow this kind of conversation etc.

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