Can You Be Judgmental and Not Know It

Can You Be Judgmental and Not Know It

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Rants and Raves

Life is about lessons and one of the best ways to learn is through other individuals. No matter how well we think we have it together there is always room for improvement. Recently, I have been looking for one of those lessons – it is hard not to when you know God has coordinated the circumstances.

The fact is I have been called out! It has been brought to my attention that I am quite a judgmental person. I pass it off as jokes and efforts to be humorous but really it is only humorous to me – offensive to the other people. Of course this isn’t how I intended things to turn out but the sad truth is it pushes people away and makes me look like a complete idiot.

The logical side of me wants to argue that we make judgments all day long, which we do: She dresses well, He looks angry, Should I take a different route home, Should I even get out of bed today? We all make judgments! So at what point do they become offensive? I guess when you speak them with “authority”, like I know better than you do, and we express more than simply an observation. For example, it is okay to look at a person and make a judgment that they feel uncomfortable being around people but to add because they are anti-social is a judgment not based on fact. It is a personal opinion that could very well be WRONG! The person may choose to not be social (introvert) or the person may have had a very bad day and just needs some time to loosen up. The point is I have learned that I am an ASS and my words can offend or lift-up. I would much rather do the latter.

Just because a person is or does one thing doesn’t make them something else. If we really want to understand people we need to know where they have been and the only way to do that is to ask questions and listen. If you are to busy creating judgments on what they say then you will completely miss the point and ruin a potential rewarding relationship.

Thank God for those people that will take the chance and tell another person in a kind way that what they are saying is wrong. So to all those that I have offended I apologize!

Mental note to Jason – stop being an ass!


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 claire

Jason,
You cannot possibly be an ass.
Loved your comments tho, was just talking to myself the other day in the car. Thinking about what some of my Christian friends have said to me, then wondered how people must view me. How must I look to others. Self correcting in my mind how I present myself to others. Then quickly to, what were they thinking, who are these people! Then, finally, stopped myself. I had created my own cycle of judgement. I was not only judging myself, but also judging my Christian friends. Who are .. right about me…… A double whoppie.
And yet, I still consider myself (ha-ha) one of the few who are not judgemental!
so there you go. I must be an ass.
Claire

2 Jason

It could also be that straight shooters, that tell it how it is, such as people like us are perceived as being ass-like. :-)

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