“So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to build each other up.” Romans 14:19
Driving home from work last week, I found myself behind one of those cars that were plastered with “peace” type bumper stickers. As it made for good reading while sitting at the stop light, I began to think about how peace was a nice concept, but it simply isn’t human nature. On a grand scale, peace is elusive, and there is always a need for peacemakers, in fact, I think that most people want peace and that is how the anti-christ will establish a hold on the world, through the promise of peace. True peace doesn’t come until after Jesus comes back and establishes His kingdom upon this earth, but that doesn’t mean we can’t desire peace and work towards peace on a smaller personal scale.
Peace with our ex should be a priority in our lives, especially if there are children involved, but it can be difficult to obtain such peace with a person that was closer than any other in our lives. Our hearts were broken, trust was lost, and we were faced with hopelessness and pain. So how do you have peace with a person that caused you so much pain? It has to start with a desire to do God’s will. He calls us to live in peace, and that doesn’t mean with just the people we like.
Here are a few requirements that I think help achieve peace with an ex-spouse:
- Peace requires acceptance of the situation.
- Peace requires seeing your ex as a human being capable of making mistakes, just like you.
- Peace requires a change of heart that only God can provide.
- Peace requires forgiveness.
- Peace requires the power of God’s love flowing through you.
- Peace requires selflessness.
- Peace requires you to think before you speak and to say what the Holy Spirit wishes and not your flesh.
- Peace requires making a choice – a choice to do all the above and live in peace.
As I wrap things up, I would like to share something my daughter brought home from her Kindergarten Sunday school class that talks about peace (credit goes to The reThink Group).
- Some people may think that making peace is lame, but God says that peacemakers are better off than hot heads. Peacemakers usually have stronger friendships, live with less stress, and they live like God says to. Remember that making peace doesn’t make you weak; it makes you stronger!
- People who pick fights all the time instead of learning to live in peace usually end up bitter, crabby people with few real friends. But as for peacemakers, God says they have a great future – one filled with contentment and good friends who can talk stuff out. Making peace doesn’t make you weak; it makes your future brighter!
- Sometimes we don’t make peace because we are scared. We may think people will make fun of us or try to take advantage of us, but God reminds us that He is on our team!
- Making peace makes you strong. It’s true. But you need to remember that the strength comes from God. He is the one who will give you the courage to stop the fight or the strength to walk away. And when God is on your side, you can do anything!
Now it is obvious that since this handout was given to a toddler, it was intended for something different than finding peace with your ex after divorce, but it is so easy to read these and apply them to the way we think and feel. We can have peace and be at peace with anyone, even our ex-spouse.