Should I File or Work it Out

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Sarah

Should I file or try and work it out?

My husband left our marriage after 6 years for a woman that I thought was a friend of mine. They had been having at least an emotional affair most of the summer. He has been cheating on me in one way or another through most of our marriage.

I spoke with my church and some friends from the church. They encouraged me to continue praying for him to want to pursue marriage counseling with me and work out our mariage. They said that God Hates Divorce. At first I was inclined to do that. But now he is in an open relationship with this other woman and he is planning on moving in with her.

I spoke with him today and he said that he is trying to figure things out. That he isn’t sure what he wants. He misses me and our family but he likes the freedom and spontinaity that he has with her. I can’t compete with that, we have three kids and that won’t change.

The other added complication is that my oldest child is actually my stepson. However, he is like my real son to me as I have been raising him since he was 2 years old. If we split up I am scared about what will happen to him.

I just don’t know what to do here and I really need some advice. I don’t want to keep being used in this way.. but if he comes to me and wants to pursue counseling should I pursue it? Even if I’m not sure that he is being sincere. Or should I follow my familys advice and file for Divorce? I want to do everything I can to save my family but if he can’t make up his mind what should I do?


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Jason

If you can save your marriage, I would try to save it. But it takes two for that to happen and I honestly don’t know how long a person is to wait for the other to see if they will come to their senses. Also, I am a loyal person and if someone was cheating on me for an extended period of time I would have a very difficult time with that. I can understand (kind of) a one time “slip” but long-term affairs. That I struggle with so I would most likely leave, especially if they continue in the relationship after it being exposed with no remorse. Remember this is my opinion and deep in your heart you may have a good idea of what needs to be done. Can you ever look this guy in the eye and trust him? Staying together for the children is admirable but what are they learning watching “dad” move in with another woman while you are married? Hopefully that this is unacceptable and either way they are going to be affected.

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