Motivation Brings Change

Motivation Brings Change

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

I recently read an article on the importance of motivation when it comes to making change in a person’s life. I remember quitting smoking, losing weight, and getting on the self-help bandwagon after my divorce. And why was this? Because I was extremely motivated to be a better, healthier and wiser person that didn’t make the same mistakes twice.

But here is the funny thing about motivation… it has different degrees, it comes and goes and people are motivated by different things. I know if someone were to offer me $100,000 to quit smoking I would quit in an instant. The motivation is simply to appealing but if someone were to offer me $1,000,000 to deny God I would laugh and walk away. So depending on what the end result is the motivation may or may not work.

It doesn’t have to be the new year to find what motivates you to make changes and you certainly don’t have to wait until your life is in ruins as well. Unfortunately that seems to be the way it goes at times but something can be done about it. Remember that motivation is a reason to do something; it is what drives us to do the things we do. Under every decision or action is some form of motivation for it.

If there is a part of your life or a bad habit you want to change I want you to find a strong and specific reason to change. Make this your motivation, your reason to be a better person. Making significant changes in my life by setting goals and working towards them was one of the best things I chose to do after my divorce. It gave me something to do other than sit around and feel sorry for myself, sure I did plenty of that but you don’t want to look back on your life months or even years from now wondering why you still make the same poor choices.

Your motivation will come and go so make sure you have reminders around to help keep you on target with what you want to achieve. Keep pressing toward your goals – nobody is going to hand you anything on a silver platter, you’re going to have to work for it but things earned with blood and sweat are so much more satisfying than things that simply fall into your lap.

What do you want to change and what motivates you??


{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kat

I want to continue to stand on my own. I know it sounds a bit funny but little by little I gave things up during my marriage. When I ended it because of his affaire I found that I was more afraid of having to be on my own then being in that relationship. I’ve been divorced for a year and a half and I’m still learning and relearning how to handle life alone. Every time I succeed and fail I stand stronger. My motivation- standing strong.

2 claire

Read and re-read your Newsletter piece, wonderful. And just at the right time, for me to see and read about changes. To then open the webpage and read your motivation brings change, heightened my thoughts and encourages me to do more. Many lifestyle changes have occurred in my new life. Some by my choice, on purpose, some just returning to “who I was/am”. And then those the Lord has changed in me, and I wonder when did I start… or stop…. AND NOW, those by choice, which are a fight. So, thank you for your messages. Now, for me it is the down and dirty changes, not too many. Maybe one or two. But it will be a fight. An internal fight. But, in the end it will all be good.
Thanks again and again, Jason.
Happy New Year!

3 Jay

I want to change who I was. Its been almost 5 months since my wife left me and boy has it been a struggle. The downfall of my marriage was a mutual thing, in the sense that it was no more my fault than it was my wifes. The difference now is that I am changing to who God wants me to be. I am opening my heart and my mind to His teachings, love and wisdom. Every week, I found out something new about my wife that she is doing, and lies to me about it. I have been in contact with her parents, and she is lying to them too. I guess she has no reason or motivation to change. In less than a month, her parents are coming to visit, and will be taking our son with them. A few weeks after that, she will be leaving and going back to our hometown (to be with our son). So I am losing my wife and my son. Never in my life have I been at my lowest. I am not getting sleep, and the only way I do get sleep is if I pray. Either way, this is a new year, pain is temporary and I am going to move forward with the Lords help. I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and realize that even though I am going through a trial, my trial will never be comparable to the one Jesus faced. God bless you all. You are in my prayers.

Jay

4 Jason

Jay, I can not imagine not being with my child. If the court has not signed off on it yet I am unsure why she is allowed to leave. If she does and you let her take your son then they will assume that is what you want. Don’t feel powerless, times are a changing and you have every right to your son as she does. If it is finances keeping you from fighting call your local court house to see if they have free or low-income options. I know ours here in Boise does.

5 Jay

Jason,

I am in a way letting her take him. She cannot afford to live here, so she is going back home. I had long decided to go back to school, and so in this light, it made sense for him to be with his mom. I am still going to have 100% visitation rights, and this agreement we have will keep changing to reflect where we are in our lives. This isn’t something I want to do, but it is necessary because I can’t keep putting out money I don’t have. I can’t keep enabling my wife. Anyways, thats the story behind it. I’m in Canada by the way, your nothern buddy haha. I’ve looked at low income options, but i make too much lol

6 Jason

Isn’t that amazing that there seems to be this huge gap between needing assistance and being able to get it? It is always important to do the best thing for the children and it sounds like you have thought about it, which is what counts. I didn’t notice your accent, “eh”. :-)

God bless and be strong!

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