Hard to be Thankful

Submitted by Scott

I saw my son (who is now ten) over Christmas for the third time in his life. Since they live out of state, and the fact that I have not had a job for almost two years (no unemployment…(long story) made things very complicated when talking about anything. The visit was very tense to say the least… a lot of things were said that were troubling which I will not disclose out of respect for my son (but he no doubt knows a lot more than she told me…) Since they left, I’ve been dealing with depression, which was bad to begin with but has gotten worse. I know God is working in my life, but it’s hard to dealing with the past, and not seeing a clear direction for the future…loneliness is a big problem right now but I’m not emotoinally healthy enough (even now) to even consider pursuing a relationship and wounding someone else, so the isolation I feel is even more intense…I sometimes think I’ll never find someone to share my life with… that’s hard to think about and give thanks for.

One Reply to “Hard to be Thankful”

  1. Hi Scott I understand what you are saying. It can be very hard to know what the next step is but may I suggest that you keep moving forward. Let the past go, consider it dealt with. Look at yourself in a new light; like (love) who you are in God. When you are able to love yourself it will attract others to you. Trust me on this. It took me many years to figure this out. Keep plugging away looking for work and stay connected with your son by any means possible. Write him letters, call him, internet, etc. I know some means you may not have access to but find a way. I know, even at my age, I am excited to get a letter from my father who really has not been in my life since I was 3. It sounds to me you see that you have some issues to work on so keep working on them and be thankful that God is changing you each day, making you better, stronger, and healthier so when you do meet the right woman it will be great. Scott, I don’t know your routine but I know when I struggled with depression I could help it by eating healthier, exercising, and getting enough rest.

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