At What Point do I Get on With My Life

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Richard

After 24 years of marriage, my Christian wife moved out and has filed for divorce. She had an affair last year that seems to have changed her. We have never been drinkers or are party people, now that we are separated, she is out drinking, going to bars and seeing other men. As a Christian man, I belive divorce is wrong. I believe God could heal our relationship, that has been my prayer for a year now. She shows no signs of changing, says God will forgive her for divorce. We have three children in college and I worry about the affects this will have on them. My question is, at what point do I give up and get on with my life? It’s so hard to do when I know God could heal our marriage and that is what would be best for my children. Need help knowing what to do next. I love my wife, thought we had a good marriage, she was my best friend, we have had difficult times financially and she is chasing men with money. Seems she wants more of what this world has to offer, she denies that. Says, she just doesnt love me anymore. Knows God could heal our marriage but doesn’t want Him to. Just keeps saying, God will forgive me, don’t judge me. Any advice would be appreciatted.

Richard


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason

Richard, each day we need to get on with our lives. We can’t put them on hold and wait for anything. God would want us to keep moving forward and seeking His will. If your wife comes back to you then that is great but don’t stop living. Keep praying and doing those things that make you a better person and Christian. I waited until I got the signed paperwork in the mail to accept the divorce as final and let my wife go. My wife did the same things with drinking and men… I was totally shocked and broken. I could not understand how it could happen. Anyhow, now that I look back I can see that my wife had some mental issues, bipolar, and that may have led to some of her behavior. Also some people run after the things of the world from time to time. I know I have. Just follow your heart and if you find yourself growing in bitterness or anger you need to do something about it but no matter what we should want God to heal our wives no matter if they do come back.

2 Richard

Jason, I know your right. I really think this would be easier to let go of if I didn’t have this faith that God could heal. I see my wife making choices that go against what she has always said she believed. It’s hard to accept that she will not turn away from her known sin. But, I am going to try and focus on God and what He has planned for my life and leave changing my wifes heart in His hands. I must stop trying to fix it myself. I am truley just driving my wife further and further away by doing that. No matter what, God is in control and can use me even if I’m divorced. Thanks for your website, he has helped me so much the past year. I thank God for you.
Richard

3 Jason

Richard, yes God does heal but unless we choose it we often live as broken beings. I tried to make sense out of what my ex was doing but it wasn’t logical. I could not phathom what was going on. I know I pushed my wife away, trying to fix it and pointing out her sin. She was completely blind. I know now that I could have doen things differently but I don’t know if it would have made any difference. It is okay to have hope but hope should not keep us from taking that next step in life.

4 Donna

I agree, God heals all! We just have to believe in our faith and our God. I’m also going through a divorce(my husband filed), that I NEVER saw coming. My husband is a christian and has sinned. He’s in the military and deployed. While away, I found out that he has been unfaithful and has also proposed to this other woman. Talk about complete devistation!! If it wasn’t for my christian family and all the prayers, no telling where I would be today. I was blaming my self but finally realized that it was not me! I truly believe that I will come out of this a stronger and better person/christian. We just have to keep believing that through God all things are possible!

5 Donna

I suggest rejoice ministries. It has stories of reconciliation when it looked impossible. All things are possible with God.

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