Christian Life after Divorce

Christian Life after Divorce

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

Life after divorce is different, to say the least. There are so many things to get used to again or have to learn to do on your own. Loneliness is a major factor of life after divorce. When it comes to Christian life after divorce I have seen it go both ways, in my life and those that I have talked too. Many people question God and wonder how this could happen – why didn’t He stop it?

Over time, things begin to change as your emotional state becomes manageable and instead of blaming God or being angry with Him we tend to allow more of Him in. On the other hand, some people turn their backs on Him completely, running after the things of the world and self gratification.

I experienced, many others too, what seemed like a spiritual awakening after divorce. I was able to see His love, mercy, and compassion for me. I was humbled by His forgiveness and was able to forgive myself and my ex. I really did feel closer to God than I had ever before.

Christian life after divorce is what we make of it. If we hold on to the bitterness and hatred then our spiritual walk won’t be very fulfilling. But if we seek God and learn to reach out to others we are going to live a rewarding life. I know it isn’t always easy… There were plenty of Sunday’s I didn’t make it to church and felt like giving up. But those feeling fade and if you know the truth then you never want to truly let that go. Just do what you can and never give up.

I still make many mistakes in my Christian walk with God. I still get caught up in the world and I would think that there are so many people out there that God would rather use than me but I am real, I am a sinner, and I do want to please God.


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sam

My Wife had several Affairs, then She left me.
2yrs later she Divorced me.
The pain, conffusion, lonelyness, etc is overwelming!
I can only pray for her, as she does Not know what she is doing!
Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Keep up your walk with our Lord, Trust in Him to see you through. His plan for your life will come to pass.
:))

2 Karen

I totally identify with the feelings expressed in this article. My life has turned upside down. I used to be a stay at home, homeschooler. Suddenly, my husband of almost twenty three years left me for another woman. I was blind because I failed to see the warning signs of his long term affair. He came home on a Friday night and everything appeared normal. However, the next morning he got up and told me that he was leaving me. He packed up and drove away leaving me with three kids, two dogs and a cat and a huge house to care for. I literally was scared to death. I didn’t know what to do because I had no skills and had not worked in over twenty years. I had done some substitute teaching a few years before that so I decided to renew my substitute teaching credential and get back to work. Then I decided to start a teacher eduation program and get a full credential. I completed the program under great duress–many late nights of studying, working my every waking moment just to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Completing my student teaching under those circumstances was mind-numbingly difficult. But I accomplished it!

In the interim of completing that degree I also re-married. Quite frankly, now I am utterly exhausted. I find the feelings that I had no time to deal with before are now crashing in on me. It is frightening how sad I feel. Anger towards God? Yeah. Skepticism towards relationships? For sure. Sometimes I sit there and shake my head and say,” How did I get to this place? And what do I do now?” I wish I had the experience of getting closer to God. I just feel so lost.

3 Jason

Geesh… I get that way and I only have one little girl. Things just get down right overwhelming at times and with very few breaks or “me” time it can be really hard. Plus I think I spent the first 12 years of my Christian life feeling that I could not get close to God, that I was doing something wrong or not good enough. I recommend reading Why Grace Changes Everything by Pastor Chuck Smith. You can buy it cheaply off of Amazon, if you can ‘t swing it send me an email and I will send a PDF copy to you.

4 Eileen

I have been divorced for almost 3 years. When I became divorced everything was taken away from me. Stripped of my home, my husband, my life as I knew it, the town I was living in, everything. I became so deeply depressed, but I held onto my LORD and SAVIOR. I made a terrible mistake. I reached out to someone just so I could talk. I reached out to the wrong person. I did not cheat on my husband. Never during our whole marriage did I ever cheat. It came across to my husband as if I did, but he never believed me and my whole world was turned upside down. He has moved on and is with someone new. I on the other hand have no one. GOD did restore everything back to me. I work 2 jobs and try to stay busy so I wont think too much. I feel like Im ready to start dating but I never go anywhere except work and church. Im doing better about not being lonely but from time to time it really gets me. like right now. I love the LORD so much and I cant live without HIM. I also want a husband, someone who will always be by my side. Loneliness is not an easy thing to shed as you may say. Its easier said then done as others try to cheer you up. Waiting patiently and expecting much.

5 Jason Deines

I agree, loneliness isn’t easy to shed and you can even have everything and everyone in your life and still feel lonely. I hate loneliness! I also agree, it is hard to meet people. I have always been an introvert so being around people wasn’t very appealing to me. But I did step out. I took some classes through the city education program, started a hobby but ultimately it was several years after my divorce that I tried online dating and I did eventually meet the woman who is now my wife.

Just hang in there and try something new and remember that God does have a plan. He hears you.

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