For many of us, it has been years since we have dated and the thought of dating is just short of terrifying. The bible doesn’t give us details about Christian dating after divorce, but the message is pretty much the same as when we are looking to marry. The key component in finding the right mate is equally yoked. The definition stretches way beyond simply believing in God but entails; goals, spirituality, parenting styles, maturity, and so on.
Christian dating after divorce should be about getting to know new people… not necessarily looking to get married to the first person you develop feelings for. After being alone, it can be tempting to fall in love with the first person that shows serious interest in you – take your time!
Meeting new people has its challenges; people have careers, hobbies, families, and other interests that keep them busy. Finding the right person to date is going to take some time and effort but I believe it will happen when you are ready, and I think that God has a person in mind for every one of us, but he/she is not going to knock on our door and say, “Here I am.” You have to make yourself available and get out there.
Scary as it is; dating also provides opportunities for learning. It is a way to study your emotional reactions as you go along. Sometimes you might realize that you aren’t as ready as you think or you may entertain thoughts of “fixing” or “settling”. It is important that we witness the effect that others have on us. What we possess we are most apt to draw out from others. The mate we are looking for should draw out the best in us.
As Christians, we should date Christians after divorce. We don’t want to simply date anyone because there are a lot of great people out there that don’t believe in Jesus and developing feelings for them wouldn’t be unthinkable. I recommend avoiding the temptation altogether.
Dating after divorce should be fun so try to make it fun. You just might make a few great new friends, experience new things, and learn a little bit about yourself and others. Let go of expectations and practice listening, talking and getting to know people; explore their personality and observe them. Don’t let fear keep you from getting out there; I can honestly say that I have not been on a date where I did not laugh or have a good time.