Divorce can make many of us feel like we have lost everything. It affects our finances, emotions, spirituality, family, health, and our social sphere. If we were to compare divorce with a disaster, I think we could easily pull it off. As with disasters divorce is devastating for most and often unexpected.
So what takes place after a disaster (divorce)? There are typically three phases:
Rescuing – Unlike a disaster, it is pretty much up to each of us to rescue ourselves. Others aren’t going to be able to help us as much as we can help ourselves. We need to reach out to God, family, and friends to help us get back on our feet but we need to be the ones to make that move. Sitting at home angry, feeling sorry for ourselves, and sad can only go on for so long. We need to move past those feelings and reach out like a hand through the rubble.
Resuming – When we have finally come to terms with the divorce; that it is what it is and we are powerless to change it we need to let things go. We need to get out of bed, eat, get back to work, and start looking for our next step forward. When we resume our lives, we are actively creating our future. I think this comes with accepting the divorce or situation for what it is and saying, “Enough is enough, and it is time for me to get on with my life.”
Rebuilding – Rebuilding life after divorce can take some time. There is a lot that needs to be done, and new things creep up from time to time. Like anything it takes dedication and hard work to get the job done. There will be obstacles, but over time it is possible to build a new joy-filled life. The best thing that worked for me was to have a positive outlook on my future. To remember that God has a plan for me and it is better than anything I can imagine. I need to keep pressing on and rely on the people that are in my life. A powerful healing tool when rebuilding life after divorce is being able to talk things out with someone that has a tender ear.