Overcoming Bitterness

Overcoming Bitterness

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

I know that there was a time during the divorce process I was very bitter, especially when it involved our daughter. The fact that I did not get to come home everyday and see her smiling face angered me beyond belief and fueled my bitterness towards my ex. I know this can happen to people for many different issues; lost trust, being disrespected, money issues, adultery, etc… There are probably dozens of reasons a person can find to be bitter and none of them are worth it.

I have written on bitterness before but the posts can get lost and it takes some digging to find them. Overcoming bitterness is a major topic and I know it affects people struggling with divorce. To some extent we feel betrayed by the person we thought we would spend the rest of our lives with. Satan uses bitterness to paralyze us and take away our hope for the future. Bitterness doesn’t ever change anything except to prolong the pain and hurt. God has more in store for you than self-pity and hopelessness.

Hebrews 12:15 – See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Why is it that some people can maintain their faith and joy during a difficult time while others complain like there is no tomorrow? I understand the difficulty at maintaining a positive outlook in the face of despair but that doesn’t mean I have to live my life that way. I, and you, can overcome bitterness.

Tips on Overcoming Bitterness

  • Overcoming bitterness starts with accepting who and the way you are, as well as the circumstances you are faced with. There are so many things that you have no control over so worrying about them is useless. You just need to accept them for what they are; you can’t change your past so accept it! You do have a choice on what you are going to do from here on out.
  • Sin is another thing that causes bitterness so REPENT of your past sins and receive God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself.
  • Have you found something to be grateful for today? If not you should, if you can’t find anything then look again because there are many things to be grateful for. It will take some time to change your way of thinking from a negative to a positive but you have to make an effort to do it.
  • Give it up to God in prayer!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 claire

Thank you!
I think.. ha ha.. I have no bitterness, it creeps in..
I have relatively.. no bitterness.. It catches me by surprise, I just continue to do my best to see it .. as it creeps in, and knock it away, ask.. comand it to bow down as I am wrapped in the Spirit… It goes, comes back though.. not as strongly.. but it returns, I wonder how long it will continue to try to catch me.. Probably forever.. I’ll just keep it at bay, starting now too, to laugh when I see it coming, I think this is good, the laughter.. what do you think.. Have I completely lost it?

2 Jason

Yes, it is likely you have completely lost it but I think there is still hope. :-) Sounds to me you’ve got it right where you need it, especially since you can laugh at yourself. There are still times I find myself thinking mean thoughts about my ex but like you said… just knock it away.

3 claire

Yup… Completely loosing it :)
So, appreciate your messages & your humor.
I am hoping that was humor..
Okay.. I’ll just keep on, keeping on. Making it a “great day in Christ, each day”… Thank you Jesus, Amen.

4 Jason

Yes, that was humor. :-)

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