Parenting is one of the most critical missions God has given fathers. To our daughters, we are the most important man in their lives. The family unit is designed to teach our children what it is supposed to be like when a loving father and mother put God first, then their relationship, and then the children. Those are the three most important things in life. The thing that should matter most to us revolve around a relationship, mental, emotional and spiritual health – not money, sex, and power.
Unhealthy relationships and divorce really throw a wrench in things and destroy families along with the whole family dynamics that are supposed to teach our children about relationships. When it comes to daughters, they are always looking at their dads to see how they treat their mom, how they handle stress, and how they show affection.
If you are a dad of integrity, strong morals, respectful, kind, hardworking, spiritual, and gentle your daughter is going to pick up on those things, and those are going to be the qualities they seek in a mate themselves. But if your daughter never gets to see you because of divorce then they miss out on that, or maybe all they saw was fighting between you and their mom… they might think this is normal. They need to know what a healthy relationship looks like. They need to have the confidence in themselves to not settle for anyone that is any less “great” than their dad.
After divorce all isn’t lost. You can still show your daughter what a great man is like by being active in her life, treating your ex with respect, and showing kindness to others. Actions speak louder than words, and you want your daughter to be a witness. Nobody can show her what it means to be a good man other than you… you are the one they look up to the most, you are the one they want to rescue them, and you are the one they want to hold them close when their heart has been broken.
I just wanted to mention this because divorce breaks families apart and that makes your job so much more difficult. You have to do what it takes to be that man in her life! I remember while I was reading the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know I was crying through the first few chapters. The consequences of what happens when fathers don’t step in and protect, show love, and be there for their daughters – It hurts, and these poor young ladies made terrible mistakes that haunted them for years.
There was one story when a young gal came home to dad and told her a boy tried to take advantage of her, she was broken and scared, but dad just said ‘boys will be boys’.
I know most of you would never say such a thing, but in her heart she wanted her father to protect her honor, to get mad and go over to that young man’s house and let him know exactly what would happen to him if he ever touched his baby again – shotgun in hand is optional…
Think about the message you are sending to your daughter when you don’t act after they come to you with a problem. Your daughter needs your strength and wisdom and “yes” dads; she needs to cry on your shoulder sometimes while you just listen. If you don’t know what to do then ask her – she may just want you to hold her and tell her you love her.
Be there for your daughter, it will pay off in the end!