Over the years I have heard that people don’t change, that they are incapable of it but I have looked back on my life and it seems to be constantly changing, evolving into the person that God wants me to be. Filled with light and darkness, hate and love, selfishness and selflessness, bitterness and forgiveness.
I remember before my daughter was born I did not care for children much. Then Madalyn, my daughter, came along and the next thing I know I am crying at movies like “Bolt” and “Astro Boy.”
I understand what it is like to deal with a temper tantrum in the middle of the store. The point is – God brought a wonderful blessing into my life to help me to grow, to soften my heart, and fill me with love and compassion.
When going through a divorce we often want to change our partner’s mind, we want to work things out, we want forgiveness, or we want them to stop going down the road they have chosen. We don’t get married thinking that the love of our life is going to break our hearts. At some point they changed, they have been beaten down by the world into believing that what they do is okay.
Many of us have tried to change our spouse only to fail. They are either too blind, or they simply don’t care. When we look back on our lives, we can see that it took significant life-changing events to change us. Sometimes it was a blessing, such as having a child, other times it was hitting rock bottom, broke, and drunk with nowhere to turn.
Change comes with a choice and until your spouse choosing to change it won’t happen, but that doesn’t mean you are helpless. For starters don’t be an enabler and turn them over to God and the bible even says to satan when they are consumed with sinful behavior. 1 Corinthians 5:5 says, “Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he will be saved on the day the Lord returns.” (NLT)
The point is you can’t change your spouse! The only person you have any control over is you. Focus on you and what you can do to make your life better, more fulfilled. Other people can’t do that for you. Rely on God and the people He puts in your life to help you through tough times and look for opportunities to grow. With God working on your spouse and you working on yourself you never know what may happen.