Online Dating: You Get what You Give

Online Dating: You Get what You Give

by Jason Deines

in Dating after Divorce

When I took my first plunge into online dating my results weren’t that great. I did not spend much time on my profile nor did I seriously pursue potential dates. I guess I hoped it would be easier than what it was and women would be the ones breaking the ice. This mentality made for a long couple weeks with no action at all. Whether you are dating normally or online; I learned that most women still expect the man to make the first move. But before you make the move you need to have a few things in order:

Tips for Online Dating:

  • Your profile is the most important part of online dating. I found that mine grew and changed over time. You should put a lot of effort into writing about who you are and what you enjoy; include humor, hobbies, future goals, etc and don’t forget to check your spelling. This is actually a pretty good exercise on identifying some of your key strengths.
  • You need a good picture, several would be better.
  • This is a major point-men you need to send emails in order to get emails back. Most of the women I talked too, I made the first contact with. Don’t expect to get an email returned from every person.
  • When sending emails I found that I was much more successful when I made them thoughtful and directed them towards the person I was emailing. You do this by reading their profile and finding something in common and briefly mentioning it. Keep your first email short and sweet; just let the person know they caught your attention and you would like to learn more.
  • Set up your filters on your searches to only show people that have similar interests and beliefs as you do. This makes things less overwhelming. You don’t need to see people in the Philippines if you aren’t going to move there.
  • Don’t share personal information and I recommend setting up a “throw away” email address at yahoo or gmail to give out instead of your own; that way you can delete it later or use it as a spam collector.

These are some basic online dating tips and your experience will be more pleasurable if you actually put yourself out there. Don’t expect to meet your next mate right away or for every person to respond back to you. Watch how much time you spend online as well. It is a good idea to pace yourself and not get obsessed; it is easy to do. Be patient, polite, safe and have fun. Remember new people are joining everyday so you never know what might happen. Continue to write and respond to emails and put yourself out there. You are getting good practice interacting with the opposite sex while at the same time building self-confidence. Don’t take it personal if someone doesn’t email you. There could be one of many reasons why; they aren’t a paying member, they are seeing someone else, they are busy, or they may not be interested. Nevertheless, the point is to interact with others and to have fun while meeting some new people. As you read other people’s profiles you will begin to notice interesting things about people in general; some are angry, some still hurt from a previous relationship, some superficial and some really have it together and are serious about dating-these are the ones to look for.

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