Healthy communication isn’t everyone’s strong suit, especially after a rough marriage which ends in divorce. But eventually the pain goes away, wounds heal, self-improvements are made, and it is time to get back into the dating game.
Communication is a significant part of our lives; we are doing it almost constantly either verbally or non-verbally with everyone around us. Often we might not be sending the message we intend – we often communicate with ourselves, but if we are witnessed doing so, we might get a few odd looks and threatened with a straight jacket. Nevertheless, dating communication skills are worth refining, and the better you get, the better your relationships will be with others.
The thought of dating can make a person fidgety, jumble their words and even appear closed off. Nerves have a way of getting in the way of good intentions and a fun time. So let’s give the nerves a break and put the butterflies to rest by polishing up on real dating communication skills.
Learning communication requires two or more people so you will need to practice – one reason I enjoyed the online dating experience. You could have 15 coffee dates in a month and communicate away, learning and improving as you go.
6 Dating Communication Essentials
- There are a lot of first impressions in dating, and you should always plan on looking your best, even if you are just practicing your dating communication skills. Taking the time to dress properly and groom shows that you care about yourself and that you are serious.
- Good eye contact is important, and it communicates to others that you have confidence in yourself, an attractive feature for both men and women. I was watching the movie Fair Game (a true story) with Sean Penn playing Joe Wilson and there was a part where he met with a group of men and as he entered the room he greeted each individual with his full name, a firm handshake and made eye contact. Of course the movie itself was good but this part stuck out at me because it screams self-confidence.
- Pay attention and listen to the person you are with. After having a child I have learned that my attention span may not be as good as it used to be. I tend to block things out, ooops. When you pay attention you learn what is important to others and it helps to keep the conversation going. In essence, listen with your whole body; face them, make eye contact and ask an occasional open-ended question.
- Tone of voice is also very important when communicating and it is important to listen to ourselves. Having the wrong tone can send the wrong message.
- Body language is our non-verbal form of communication and research suggests that 60 to 70 percent of all meaning is derived from non-verbal communication. A person’s body language provides clues as to the state of mind or attitude of a person. Watch and learn…
- Speak non-judgmentally, not in terms of how good or bad something is but how you personally feel about it. Don’t argue or put down another person’s opinion and most of all remember that you “ain’t” perfect.