It seems only natural to isolate ourselves when we are in pain. For some reason we think we can work through the crisis on our own or nobody will understand what we are going through but the reality is; countless individuals have experienced divorce, stemming from someone simply saying, “I don’t love you anymore” to infidelity and even abuse. Point being… there is no shortage of people in this world that can understand what you are going through.
When we isolate ourselves, we miss out on many of God’s healing medicines. In a state of isolation, we tend to focus on ourselves by having one pity party after another. As our minds conjure up questions with no answers, the worry of things to come, “what if” scenarios and a smorgasbord of feelings we open the door for bitterness, hopelessness, and self-pity; none of which God desires.
As you go through your divorce, I encourage you to reach out to others. God’s will is not for you to go through the pain alone; as Christians, we are of one body made up of many members, God created us for a community; not to be alone. Rebuilding your life after divorce requires allowing others into your life; if you already have a support network setup you should start using it today, if not you have work to do.
When You Receive Help from Others
When you receive help from others you set in motion several different things that will help you to heal. Sitting around in isolation while your mind concocts all sorts of crazy ideas is counterproductive, however reaching out to others isn’t, it offers:
- A Different Perspective
- Opportunity for Prayer
- And it Lets God Work in Your Life
By letting others help you not only get out of yourself but you bless them as well. When people have the opportunity to give of themselves it releases the “feel good” chemicals in the brain and is a real blessing. We all want to be useful and we all have a calling in life; for many that is being there for others, helping them through tough times, including divorce.
If you have found that you are isolating yourself hoping the pain will go away or that there is no one that can help, I encourage you to re-evaluate and open the door by letting others in. I understand the difficulty in finding people that make you feel comfortable to open up too, but they are all around. It isn’t always necessary to check yourself into professional counseling, but for some, it can be very helpful. Others places to get help include prayer at church, don’t be shy. When they offer prayer after the service – get it, you will be glad you did. You should also seek out a weekly Bible group to join, whether that is from your church or another. Bible groups are a great place to quickly connect with others and get support. Lastly, look for support groups that are specific to divorce or grief recovery.
You will be amazed at how God will work in your life through others, how you will feel and the way He heals you. Connecting with people has a way of turning the tables on pain, depression, and loneliness so take advantage of your brothers and sisters in Christ; there are many that want to help so reach out.