It doesn’t matter if the marriage was dysfunctional, volatile or loveless, after divorce, coming home and not being with your spouse can take some getting used too. We have become accustomed to life with them; we have developed habits and routines that affect our lives daily.
Don’t let the awkwardness of being alone or the never-ending household chores tempt you into making poor decisions. Life after divorce is different, but it isn’t necessarily bad once you work through the grief and begin to rebuild your life.
It is interesting how the human mind works at times; I have broken a few bad habits and addictions in my life, and my mind would try to convince me there was some benefit into not giving it up. The same happened after divorce, all I would focus on was what I did not have any more, the good times and my loneliness. When I quit smoking I had to continually remind myself that it was killing me, that there was no benefit to me in any way – I needed to be realistic! The same goes for living life after divorce; you can’t focus on what you don’t have anymore, and you need to keep things in perspective.
Don’t let the change in your life drive you to make mistakes that could hurt you and interfere with rebuilding your life after divorce. You can view the situation as a failure, or you can view it as a new chapter in your life, a chapter yet to be written, what you fill it with is up to you. Embrace the change and don’t fight it by holding on to the past, self-pity, starting new relationships too soon or drowning your sorrows in alcohol and chocolate. None of these things will help you adapt; they will only make matters worse in the long run.
Coming home after the divorce and finding happiness is completely up to you. It may take a bit of time. Nevertheless, it will happen if you accept the situation for what it is and get on with your life. Don’t let your fears and the unknown keep you from a life filled with new experiences and happiness.