What Should I Do

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Michele

I have just recently considered sharing with my husband about my affair which happened 5 years ago. He has no clue and things are okay. But I have looked to others twice, not a sexual thing at all. More companionship and conversation. I want a friend and I don’t have that in him. I have been married for 14 years and have two young, beautiful children. ages 8 and 5. We are both very active in our church. He has told me countless times that adultry is unforgivable. (As we know people who have split cause of this.) He will leave me. I have gone to the Bible and read all about it. I want to tell him because of Proverbs 12:4 “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” I am no crown. I am wanting to wait until I get more financially secure as we are struggling as a family right now. Barely making monthly payments. But I have had opportunities to make more through this next year. I would like to wait one year. Should I tell him? Should I tell him sooner than later? He is a tremendous fellow. There is no physical abuse just neglect. What should I do?

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason

Sorry but this is way outside my scope of giving sound advice. I would just recommend being the best wife and mom you can be while finding ways to improve your marriage.

2 Kat

First of all I’m praying for you.

As a woman who has been on the other side of this I had a knee jerk moment being cheated on is painful. My ex also wanted friendship with other women. when you seek others like that you do hurt your marriage.

But I’m with Jason on this.

I do wonder if you aren’t trying to wreck your marriage. Seek counseling, you may be missing something important that could help you.

God bless

3 Donna

Michele. The Bible says that a lying tongue hates those it wounds. Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and the life. God says that no liar has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. You need to confess your sins to your husband and you need to do it immediately. My husband slept with other women and didn’t tell me for about 8 months after, then finally he was convicted and told me. I had to go get tested for STD’s because all he did was lie. If you love your husband you will tell him the truth and immediately. This is extremely serious and if you want to be right with God you need to do it straight away. I do not say this out of judgement, I say this because I love you and do not want you to suffer, your husband needs to know that you care about him enough to give him the freedom to choose. I will pray that your husband can forgive you and you can be used as a testimony of the goodness of God. Check out rejoice ministries if you would like it is amazing full of stories of reconciliaton after much worse things then what you have just described. Like FULL on bad things, God can forgive and restore ANYTHING. Also this male friend, CUT CONTACT. I also had a male friend who was a ‘Christian’ but I wasted so much time being friends with him instead of working to please the Lord and pleasing my husband. I really care for you and pray Psalm 20 over you. Lord save this marriage and give them both supernatural love and mercy for eachother in Jesus Name! Amen

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