Recently, I completed listening to Gary Chapman talk about “The 5 Love Languages” (Book on Audio CD). As a side note I am pleasantly surprised at how quickly I was able to get through the book with only a short morning and afternoon commute to work. I am definitely going to add books on CD to my routine.
Back to the story, as I listened, I got to thinking about how important it is to me not to repeat mistakes from the past. I never want to go through a divorce again nor do I want my partner ever to feel that I don’t love her or she isn’t important to me because that is contrary to how I feel. I realize now that although I thought I was a good husband by cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn, washing the cars and other household chores, so my wife did not have to I was doing more harm than good. In fact, I was pushing her away. I wasn’t filling her “love tank” as Dr. Chapman puts it. I was exhausted, bitter and angry because my wife was not appreciative of my efforts. Eventually, my wife felt her needs could be better met elsewhere and moved on. I am sure there were many other things which contributed to the resolution of our marriage but let me offer a bit of advice. If there is a chance in hell to save your marriage, I suggest you swallow your pride, put away the bitterness read The 5 Love Languages (or listen to it) and give it a try.
My ex-married long ago and I have met a beautiful woman that truly understands me and most of all she is patient with me (at least when I am spending quality time with her). We both have read this book and discovered our “love languages.” We are determined to have the best marriage possible, and I thank Dr. Chapman for introducing us to this concept. I don’t want to come down from this “love high” and ask the question; “Now what?” I want to have the tools, habits, and desires in place that will bless my new marriage, life and family until my last breath.