Trying to Save My Marriage

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by JD

i am married 29 years to a christian man – he told me our marriage is over in July. He has left 4x. We have two wonderful adult children. I smothered him – and he said i made a lot of mistakes. (no adultery…) I just want to be with me. His favorite saying is “I can’t be 100 percent ofyour happiness.” I am devastated and love him dearly. He only goes to christian counseling 3x then quits. It’s all my fault is what he says.

I have read every book, have a pastor who is trying to help (he won’t see him) and he doesn’t want me to tell anyone that he wants a divorce. He hasn’t filed that I know of.

You’ve been through this. What gives with a husband who wants out? I am 58, he 55, sounds like midlife, and I am attractive – we had date night, we went on two vacations this year, an he just bought me new wedding rings. Go figure.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Jason

Unfortunately, the only personal experience I have in this area is listening to others and learning as I go. It sounds like you are talking to people and learning everything you can to improve your marriage but it does take two for a marriage to work. Have you read the 5 Love Languages? I found that book very helpful.

The only thing that comes to mind is to pull back a bit and give your husband room to think. Keep working on yourself but avoid putting pressure on him right now. Maybe there is something going on in his life that he doesn’t want to tell you, or he is waiting for the right time. Continue to show him love and pray, as I will pray for you as well.

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