Finding True Love after Divorce

Finding True Love after Divorce

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

After divorce it is difficult to imagine being able to love someone again, especially if your previous partner left a lot of wounds. But eventually we begin to heal, the pain goes away and the desire to love returns. However, we need to make sure that the desire to love is not guided by our loneliness. Loneliness has a way of pushing people to getting into new relationships with the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Finding true love after divorce means dealing with the loneliness as it comes and not letting it interfere with meeting the right person that God has in store.

It was over 3 years before I seriously started dating and met the most amazing woman that is now my wife. It took a long time before I was confident in myself and knew what I needed in a spouse, however because I was patient (it wasn’t always easy) I know I avoided making several big mistakes.

Tips for Finding True Love after Divorce

  1. Believe in yourself! Know that you are an amazing person deserving of an equally amazing person. Build confidence and a positive self-esteem. This comes with practice and healing from the past. View yourself from God’s perspective and don’t let the lies of the enemy and past mistakes keep you from reaching your full potential.
  2. Know your strengths and weaknesses. It is so much easier to apologize when you screw up if you know your faults. Knowing your strengths give you confidence in those areas and they can help you build a healthy relationship.
  3. Healthy communication is important and often one of the things we struggle with. By learning healthy communication you will strengthen relationships in your life both personal and professional.
  4. Know what you want and need in a partner. The last thing you want to do is settle for someone you think you can make things work with. You need to find the person that will be your best friend that will love you for who you are and be committed to working things out when times get tough. When you know the values, qualities and character you are looking for it helps to direct your efforts in finding him/her.
  5. Learn to say you are sorry. We all make mistakes and that requires apologizing for those mistakes and trying to do better. Hallmark has a great card selection for saying sorry…

Before I met my wife I had gone as far as having a written list of things that I wanted in a partner and I used this list each time I went on a date. There were times I realized that I needed to modify the list and that is why I think dating is important. It gives you a chance to fine tune what you need in a partner. Not giving into my loneliness was a major step in meeting the woman I am with today. Over 3 years I had to tell myself, “Today I am not going to settle for the sake of loneliness.” I am confident that you have a person out there waiting for you and you will find true love after divorce but you need to put in the work.

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