Getting Over Taking Care of Others

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Penny

I am currently in the middle of a divorce. My husband, due to his angry outbursts, is in jail. I’m not sure how long he’ll be there. He’s been verbally/emotionally abusive on and off for years.

How do I get past feeling its my responsibility to see to all his needs? I know that I overthink things many times, but when I do get thinking about him, despite all the terrible names he’s called me and harrassing things he’s said, part of me still feels compassion for him and wonders who will take care of him now since I’m not.

Part of me doesn’t want to care, but part of me just does. I can’t go back into that relationship for my kids sake and for my own sake, but I keep beating myself up, blaming myself and worrying about who will care for him.

How do I get past this?

Thanks!


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Jason

A lot of it has to do with your self-talk and your thoughts. You don’t need to take care of him or rescue him, that is not your responsibility – continue to tell yourself that. It is okay to feel compassion and pray for him but leave it at that. Maybe address some of the issues why you think you need to take care of him. If you aren’t going to continue any type of relationship with him then “close” and move on with your life. You need to make a choice and follow through. When you feel guilt simply give it over to God and move on. Find a counselor to talk too, they can be a lot of help when it comes to breaking cycles that need to be broken. Lastly, try not to take things too seriously, laugh at yourself sometimes.

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