Dating Question

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Lisa

My husband of 19 years left almost 5 years ago. Since that time I’ve focused on raising our 4 children, who are all teens now. I’ve done it alone, as their dad moved to another state with his new family and hasn’t seen the kids in 3 1/2 years. I haven’t thought much about dating except to share my personal desires with the Lord and give them up to him to give back or take away.

Today at the grocery store a man struck up a conversation with me and after a few minutes asked for my number. Instead of giving him mine, I got his. I was surprised. I never imagined I’d have that experience. I’d like to call him and maybe meet for coffee, but I want to be wise about this. Dating is so much more confusing and even possibly dangerous these days. Honestly, I hate the word dating. Is there any sort of casual friendship between men and women before dating? During the getting-to-know-you stage? Are there any red flags I should watch out for? Any other words of wisdom for me?


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1 Jason

Lisa, in my opinion you can have a casual friendship but you need to set the rules and avoid sending the wrong signals and yes guys sometime see signals that aren’t there. But you can have fun and keep things simple by being honest and just letting people know that you are only looking at being friends (at least for now).

After several years of being alone I tried dating and it is hard to meet people so I did the online thing. Yes, there are some nuts out there and you get exposed to more through the internet but the pool of people is bigger which provides more options. Just keep your wits about you and don’t rush things. There are plenty of red flags but I have noticed that if you find a person with a good self-esteem they have better relationship skills.

Go with your gut, stay in public places, set up an gmail or yahoo email account you can give out (don’t give out your personal one), don’t worry, take deep breaths, don’t let your feelings take over and have some fun.

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