The Loneliness Cure

The Loneliness Cure

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

I remember what it was like to be lonely, every riveting moment of it. The long hours that would sometimes seem like days and the lonely nights. It is hard to talk about being lonely with others, many times people don’t seem to understand the impact loneliness is having on your life because they’ve either forgotten or haven’t suffered through a divorce. To better cope with loneliness you need to understand it.

Loneliness is an emotional state. In this state regular people such as you and I experience a disconnection from people around us which leads to deep feelings of emptiness.

Loneliness can strike in at any time, whether you are in a large crowd or by yourself. Loneliness should not be confused with being alone. Being alone can be good from time to time. Loneliness on the other hand usually involves self-pity which isn’t fruitful at all.

For a very long time I had problems with loving others. My attention was mostly on myself and I found that I was lonely a lot. It wasn’t until my daughter was born that I was able to understand the gift of life and the love God had for me. After my divorce I realized how selfish I was and that I really did not love myself. Unless you love yourself it is nearly impossible to give love.

The first step in dealing with loneliness is learning to love yourself. When we are lonely life can feel hopeless and when we try and overcome the loneliness we tend to become more focused on ourselves. As long as we are doing this our ability to love is stunted. If a person seeks to give love rather than receive (without strings) he will become lovable. The key to love is self-sacrifice and giving without expectations.

Earl Nightingale used to preach; we are products of our own thinking and belief systems. I learned this firsthand and was amazed at how different my life was when I paid attention to my thoughts and beliefs. For example; if you are negative and your self-talk is negative you will likely be a negative person. When it comes to loneliness you need to watch what you think and say. Remind yourself on a regular basis that you are lovable, that God has great plans for you and you are attractive. The words we speak to ourselves are what define our actions, feelings and thoughts. You can greatly improve the quality of your life if you change your self-talk.

Can it be that the cure for loneliness is that simple? To love yourself, give love without strings attached and have positive self-talk. I guess you will need to try it out to know for sure.


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