Finding Happiness

Finding Happiness

by Jason Deines

in Featured, Life After Divorce

It is every person’s goal to find happiness and feel important. Often people go through life never knowing what it is like to truly be happy because they are chasing after the wrong things, like the superficial things of the world that never satisfy.

Going through a divorce or suffering from a major loss can make a person feel they will never be happy again. Self-talk, like “My life is terrible.” reflects these feelings and creates what is known as a self-fulfilling prophesy. Finding happiness is nearly impossible without the right mindset and you need to understand it is your thoughts and self-talk that directs your life and how you feel.

We have all witnessed amazing stories where people that have everything their heart desires yet are miserable, self-medicating, and feel sorry for themselves. Then there are those people that seem to have nothing yet their faith and their love for themselves and others radiates from them. They are truly happy despite their circumstances. Their situation doesn’t dictate whether they are happy or not; faith does that. If you are waiting to have enough money, lots of toys, or finding a mate to be happy you could find yourself waiting a long time. The key to happiness depends more on the inner person than outside influences.

You have the right to be happy; however, stressful times in your life may make feeling good difficult and that is just part of life. During these times, it is easy to get caught up into a downward spiral taking your self-esteem with you.

To be happy you need to realize that happiness is a choice and you can turn your life around by simply changing one thing… how you think. Stop viewing yourself through other people’s eyes and what they say about you, especially if it is negative. Realize that you are a great person worthy of love and happiness. People with a positive outlook on life tend to be happier. Therefore, practice the cup is half full routine and find gratitude in your life.

Many people send negative messages to themselves. You might have heard these messages when you were young or over a long period of time from many different sources such as; teachers, family members, caregivers, media, friends and lovers. Once you heard these messages you may have repeated them over and over to yourself until you believe them. These negative thoughts make you feel bad about yourself and lower your degree of happiness.

Tips for Finding Happiness

Break the cycle by asking yourself the following questions about each negative thought you have noticed:

  • Would this statement be something that a person would really say to another person? If not then why am I saying it to myself?
  • Is this message really true?
  • What am I getting out of thinking this thought? If it is making me feel unhappy about myself then why don’t I stop thinking it?

Whenever you notice yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, replace them with positive ones. You can’t think two different thoughts at the same time. While you are developing these thoughts, use positive words like happy, loving, joyful, caring, kind, enthusiastic, and warm.

“We become what we think.”- Earl Nightingale. This philosophy has been around for a very long time and it is true. If you want to find happiness then stop acting like it is lost and choose to be happy by changing the way you think.


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