Getting Rid of the Guilt

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Penny

My divorce was granted by the judge yesterday. It’s all so surreal. My husband has Personality Disorder/Bi-Polar issues and has for his whole life, but was finally diagnosed after having been arrested for violating the restraining order and trying to run a policeman over.

I left back in 2007 and came back on the stipulation that he get help (counseling/meds). That only lasted for a short time as it was court appointed at the time after considerable verbal phone abuse and harassment.

WHY then, do I feel so guilty? I feel as though I’ve abandoned him…… I tried for 20 years and watched my kids go through hell as well as myself and listened to my son begging for him & I to leave.

I finally got up the courage and told the Lord that if this was His will, He would need to see me through and make things happen as I was too emotionally and physically tired with no strength left. He has provided for us above and beyond and I’m sooooooooo thankful, but I just keep beating myself up over the whole thing.

How do I work through this?

God Bless,


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason

I struggle with guilt from time to time and the thing I need to remember is that guilt means I need to love myself a bit more. We all make mistakes and we need to forgive ourselves for those mistakes, God doesn’t hold them against us. People need to learn to take care of themselves, we can’t do it for them. Often times we simply become an enabler which adds to the problem. Living in the past is futile so I recommend accepting things as they are and looking toward the future. Forgive yourself and move on – you did what you could. Write a nice affirmation about how great you are and how great today is going to be and read it every morning. Plus, you may just need a little time to heal…

2 Donna

Hi Penny!

I read an amazing book, called Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker. Not sure if you would like her style, it changed my life though. God bless you. Donna

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