Unforgiveness: The Root of Bitterness

Unforgiveness grows into bitterness and resentment, poisonous emotions that torture you. These emotions cause stress and pressureand can lead to unhealthy physical and emotional ailments. Unforgiveness does not torture the person that wronged you it only tortures you. It creates suffering.

Unforgiveness and resentment are the ties that bind you to the past, to the wrong that was brought upon you. It is impossible to leave the past behind and get on with your life while you are living in unforgiveness. It causes bitterness and resentment, which overflows into your present day. Bitterness is a very slow form of destroying one’s peace of mind. It prolongs the hurt and makes you miserable.

Without forgiveness you are more likely to react to someone or something from that place of hurt, anger and distrust. In affect, you are bringing the hurt from the past into your new relationships; soiling them with unforgiveness that has nothing to do with them. You are limiting your ability to move on to a healthier happier relationship by holding onto your past.

What would it take to release those negative feelings? Was the hurt too big? Too deep? Too unspeakable that forgiveness is not an option? What do you choose instead? Living in unforgiveness is choosing to remain the victim. When one acts like a victim you end up being treated like one. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Think of forgiveness as a gift to your self. You do not have to tell the other person you forgive them. Nor do you ever have to put up with unacceptable behavior. By forgiving the person for being the way they are and for having done what they did, you release YOURSELF from suffering. You enable yourself to move past the hurt to healing. You offer yourself a gateway to move from anger and resentment to compassion, acceptance and peace. These are emotional gratuities that you can bestow upon yourself and from which you will reap divine effects.

This post was written by Karen McMahon, Certified Divorce Coach. Karen is the founder of KM Life Coaching and co-author of “Navigating Your Divorce“: A guide to the Legal, Financial and Emotional Basics”, a free eBook. Karen’s passion is to work with men and women going through the divorce process; helping them navigate the difficulties while focusing on personal growth and embracing the opportunities that lie ahead.