Help Saving Marriage

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Joe

My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have 3 young kids. I have over the years had some infidelities. I have broken my wife’s trust several times. I hate that I have made those mistakes. Things I thought had been going better for us in recent years, but apparently she has been living in pain and felt trapped in our marriage as a stay at home mom. She now wants a divorce. I’m struggling to hold it together at the thought of her leaving me and breaking up our family. I love her very much and want to make it work. She is now emotionless, and says she is just done. She has aggreed to go to a christian counsellor with my next wednesday, but only to humor me. She has no interest at all in trying to save our marriage. I feel terrible that I’ve been so stupid, and that we haven’t tried to seek out help years ago. I’m trying to stay strong but I’m really struggling.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Jason

Joe, I don’t see the need to stay strong all the time. We are weak and at times we need to rely on God and others. You understand the gravity your actions have caused and that is good. We are all sinners but often infidelity is a hard one to let go but not impossible. I guess if I had the opportunity you do with a counselor I would sit down and tell him/her just how bad I screwed up (confess my sin) and how sorry I am. I would also tell the counselor how much I love my wife and am willing to do anything to make it work. I would not say anything negative or judge my wife in any way. She may be there to humor you but there may be a small part of her that wants to hear what you have to say and how far you are willing to go. Keep hope and no matter what, get to work on the things that are causing you to step out. Whether you stay together or not you need to rid yourself of that flaw.

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