Dating Advice after Divorce Over 40

Dating Advice after Divorce Over 40

by Jason Deines

in Dating after Divorce, Featured

Dating over 40 can be a blast and very rewarding if you willing to listen to some dating advice after divorce. Successful relationships will develop in your life if you know who you are, where you are going and love the person God made you to be. Just because you are over the age of 40 doesn’t mean you need to settle for the first person, or 10th person for that matter, who shows interest in you. Over the years we have learned that there is no Knight in Shining Armor or Perfect Woman. We have learned (at least we should have) that having unrealistic expectations in a partner will only lead to unmet expectations down the road.

The best dating advice after divorce that you can follow is to deal with the pain of divorce before you ever consider getting back into the dating game. When you do date don’t talk about past relationships; it only shows that you have a hard time letting go of the past and may not be ready to date. Make sure that you ready to put yourself out there, emotionally and physically. Nobody wants to have to break down your walls or have to wait a month just to get to know you a little better.

You should never worry about hurting someone else’s feelings. I am not talking about being rude or putting a person down, instead I am referring to telling your date, “thanks but no thanks.” Not everyone is going to be a good match (some are downright crazy) and it is important to be selective with the people you spend your time with. Leading a person on and playing games only to stroke your own ego will end badly.

Even dating over the age of 40 requires that you make a good first impression. Our culture has changed significantly over the years and even though it may be the norm for teenagers to not hold doors open, practice good manners and text on a date it most certainly is not acceptable for you. Guys, woman want to have the door held for them. Ladies, stand back and give him room to hold the door. Use manners, be polite, be honest and have fun.

When dating you aren’t going to hit it off with every person but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Two people can laugh and have a good time together knowing that they aren’t the perfect match. It is amazing what you can learn about yourself and others if you take the time to talk. As you get more comfortable with dating it will get easier.

Don’t feel rushed to meet the “right” person just because you are over forty. It’s better to wait than to settle and end up going through a long and difficult relationship which could lead to divorce all over again. Finding a satisfying relationship takes time and work.


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Wagashi

I have been through one divorce, and after my wife cheated and lied to me, I am the end of another. I am at a closure point where I do not want to talk to her, and see that chapter of my life being closed. What I would like to see in my life now is merely companionship. And that is proving difficult. It is strange to enter the “single” arena, again, after so many years. And I have to admit, I find it hard to talk to women, now. I am constantly reminding myself that God will show me the way to go, but I wonder where my effort in this plays out.

Where does God’s trail end and mine begins in the arena of meeting women?

2 after divorce

This is a great article, thank you for sharing.

I am divorced person over 40, and dating. A comment I would add is this: we live in an ageist society, with bias against age.

Why should it matter if you’re 39 or 41? If you are over 40 and looking for dating or relationship, the right person for you is out there and looking too.

3 Jason

after divorce:
Hopefully after 40 people realize that they are getting older. At 39 they still don’t get it. :-) Actually, as long as maturity levels are the close I think age isn’t as big of a deal but people over 40 aren’t likely to practice similar dating rituals as 30 and under…

Wagashi:
It is important to let God guide but it is also important to put yourself out there and talk to women. You don’t have to flirt with them or date them but each day you are provided with an opportunity to ask somone how they are or tell them they have a nice smile. Small talk with the checker at the store, holding the door for someone or going to the mall and having someone help you pick out a new shirt can all help melt away the fear of talking to women. Don’t worry about what they might think, we all have insecurities from time to time. Just have fun, smile and be friendly. You never know when the opportunity will arise. I remember several years ago I was having trouble at work and I was meeting with a communications coach and one thing he had me do was sign up for online dating and just email and chat with people (as many as I could and yes it did lose its appeal after a few months). Of course I was not there to lead people on but I was rejected many times, recovered everytime, made some new friends and then BAM I met my wife.

Its a process, take it slow and you will get there. Just don’t shy away from an opportunity to tell someone thanks or hi.

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