Setting Boundaries

by Jason Deines

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Beth

I have been divorced for a year and a half. My ex had a relationship with another women and has a child with her. She now wants nothing to do with him. The problem is He continues to call me and want to talk about his life. We have 4 children together and 26 years of marriage. I want to move on. But struggle with how to manage our relationships because we need to stay in touch due to our children and business. What are some boundaries I should set when talking with him?

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1 Jason

Since you are no longer married or wish to have a “friend-like” relationship where you listen to one another’s problems (which is fine) you are going to need to set some ground rules. You may simply need to tell him to stop talking about his personal life and keep the conversations about the business and children. You can also work on keeping the conversations impersonal and to the point. Don’t stay on the phone any longer than necessary and simply tell him you have to go. Consider replacing some of your phone contact with email. Lastly, I would recommend letting his calls going to voicemail and if it is important you can call him back. Remember, keep your conversations short, to the point and simple. You are not his wife anymore and you should act accordingly. If he needs support from someone then he should call a friend. If you are able to set up these boundaries it will certainly help you to heal and get on with your life.

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