How Long Do I Wait?

by Guest Post

in Questions & Answers

Submitted by Jennifer

I have been married for two years. My spouse had a short affair a year ago, but we decided to work on our marriage, get counseling, and things did get better. However, in the past 6 months, my husband has resorted to playing excessive videos games and smoking pot 4-5 times a week. I can’t except this and I’ve begged him to at least cut down on these things several times. He will decrease temporarily, but just enough to I guess, quiet me, but it still bothers me. I don’t think he should be doing the pot when he his 13 year old son who lives with us, had a drug addict mother. I sense he knows his dad does this, but would never confront him. As far as our marriage, he says everything is fine, I’m overreacting and he loves me. But his actions are indifferent- we rarely spend date time together, and when we do, I sense it seems like an obligation to him. I’ve fallen into a great depression and I think I just want out. He’s not interested in going back to counseling. I see a counselor on my own now, and the counselor tells me to hang in there and these things will get better. I don’t see how when my husband doesn’t see a problem. I think I just want to get a divorce, but I feel so guilty to God. I want to know God’s will in this situation, but God has been silent for 4 months. Why? How long do I wait?

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jason Deines

Marriage is hard and there are rough times, it has it’s peaks and valleys. I agree, drugs and wasting the day with video games is no way to live but maybe it is just a phase. I would continue to pray for God to open your husbands eyes. Continue to get counseling, talk to a pastor and reach out to others for help. I have found some great marriage resources at the local library, see what you can find. I think the key is to trust in God’s word. His silence may only be Him working on your husband or in your heart. I can’t tell you how long to wait but I can tell you God will reward your faithfulness to Him.

2 jennifer

In the meantime, how do I handle the risks involved? I am afraid he is going to drive this way or get in trouble with the law… I just think it’s so irresponsible, but he doesn’t think anything will happen to him or others… Otherwise he is a good Christian man, but he can’t see the risks here. I’ve approached him several ways and he is stubborn in his views. I want to stay married, but this is illegal. I don’t know how I should feel about being put in this situation. There is pastor we know to talk to because his whole family would find out then.

3 Jason Deines

Eventually we all will suffer the consequences of our actions and it might take getting in trouble, losing everything or great humiliation to make a person change. There are support groups that can help you learn how to handle loved ones with addiction.

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