Dealing with Anger after Divorce
Wow! Where to start when it comes to dealing with anger and divorce. I was pissed and the more I had found out about the things she was doing made me even madder. How could this be happening to me? Didn’t being a Christian mean anything? Where the heck was God in all this? I was angry at her, myself, and I was really angry at the all powerful God.
I can’t tell you how many times I had a few ungodly words for both my ex and God. Did it help letting it out? Not really, later I would just feel guilty for doing so and have to experience humility in asking for forgiveness. I knew I was angry and I even knew some of it I was justified but was it doing me any good? Not really, anger can be a good thing if used in a positive manner. I did not do that. I made sure that my ex knew exactly how I felt and thought about her. My anger was not productive what so ever and I regret letting it get the best of me. How could I be mad at God for my own choices? I was acting in a childish illogical manner. On occasion I would get angry at myself for all my mistakes, and then it dawned on me. I can use this, I can change, I can be better, and the best of all, God has FORGIVEN me and I need to forgive my self!
After a while I began giving my anger over to God. I began to choose not to be angry anymore and get on with my life. What was done is done and I could not change it. What I did have control over was the things in me that needed to be changed. Anger is a part of healing after divorce, most will experience it to some degree. My only advice is to not let it consume you and bring you down. When I started to acknowledge my anger and give it over to God I was able to begin to experience freedom and implement the changes in my life that hopefully will bring me closer to God and allow me to make better decisions in the future.
The best thing that got me through my anger stage was to talk to friends and a pastor at my church. They would hear my harsh words then offer up prayer for me. I think that this was the best remedy for my situation. I was able to release my anger in a healthy, safe place and when I was tapped dry they hooked me up to God through prayer and friendship.