Grief Model - Anger and Divorce
Getting through the denial stage was like the calm before the storm. Once I realized that divorce was eminent my feelings quickly turned to anger. The more I learned of her reasons I became even angrier. I could see we had some huge communication issues, and I could not relate to her reasoning but I did not have the power to change the situation.
During my anger stage I was mad at her, God, and me. It was a time where my life was filled with accusations and “he said she said” dialog. I was mad at myself for all the mistakes I made. But I think a big part of my anger was directed toward God. “Why did He do this to me?” Even after my denial stage and accepting responsibility for my part I still turned it around and blamed God for not intervening and stopping the divorce, or changing her heart. I blamed God for making me marry her in the first place… Funny huh? It seems funny to me now but I was serious back then.
I said many things I regretted during my anger stage. I said things to God, thankfully He has forgiven me, I had a lot to ask forgiveness for too, and I said things to my ex whom probably has not forgiven me. Never the less I made it through, one day at a time.
Thinking back on how I made it through being angry when confronted with divorce I owe it all to God of course but also to the people He put in my life. I don’t know what I would of done if I did not have friends and pastors to talk to and pray for me. They were so understanding and patient with me. I recommend giving it over to God in prayer and then getting together with a friend and telling them you are going to gripe for a while. The more I bottled up my feelings the worse I felt so let those close to you help.