When you think about forgiveness, it seems pretty simple of a concept to grasp. I often tell people that I have forgiven my ex for the divorce and other things, but then I catch myself wishing that God would punish her for what she did. Harsh isn’t it?
I have been divorced for over 2 years now and felt I was making pretty good progress on moving on. This morning I woke up thinking about my ex-wife and how I wish bad things would happen to her. I know exactly where these feelings are coming from because I miss my daughter. If you have gotten to know me at all, you know that the one thing I hate is not being able to see her every day.
Continue reading “True Forgiveness”
Many divorces end because of infidelity in the marriage, my wife left me a week before Christmas and moved in with another man. I was completely clueless! While she was out having a good time with her new found love I was home heartbroken trying to figure out what the heck had happened, alone and miserable. Part of me was jealous that she already had another person to share her time with. I wanted to run out and get into a new relationship as well, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was a bad idea. My intentions would have been entirely selfish, and my emotional state was unhealthy thus leading to an unhealthy relationship.
Some research that I found on the Internet suggests that it can take 2 to 3 years to adapt to divorce, longer if illness or job loss occurs during the same period. To be quite honest I can see that to be true. This coming December will be my 3-year mark, and I can honestly say that I feel good, I feel like really getting to know someone in a healthy manner, and I feel like the evaluation and work I have done on myself has paid off.
Continue reading “Adjusting to Divorce”
I remember getting married and how stressful that seemed. Tying that (so-called) life commitment, making everything perfect, managing the guests, band, caterer, etc. I think at this point I could have listed getting married as one of the most stressful times of my life. But little did I know the stress involved with dissolving a marriage. I found a neat little blurb about managing stress after divorce from the Iowa State University. It made some good points, and I know that I experienced what it talks about, never really thought about it though.
It focuses on three points; 1) restructuring the family, 2) loss of significant relationships and possessions, and 3) the need to establish a new identity.
Continue reading “Stress of Divorce”
When it comes to forgiveness, we typically think of God forgiving us not the other way around. I’m not exactly sure how that works because how can you forgive when you haven’t been wronged? I found myself blaming God for not saving my marriage. I blamed God for me not being able to see my child each day, and I blamed God for allowing me to marry “that woman.” God knew from the beginning how this was going to play out and He is all powerful so why didn’t He do something to stop it?
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During a recent Sunday service, the pastor prayed that we would be able to trust in the Lord when our lives have not turned out the way we would have wanted or they are not going how we would like. Of course, that is a good thing to pray for especially with all that is going on with the economy these days.
I have felt this way and still do feel this way at times. There are things that I want and that I feel should be different in my life to make it better. I quickly realized that the only reason to pray such a prayer would be due to not being obedient to God and doing His will. If we are to follow God and abide by His word, then our lives are going to be better than we could have ever imagined. It is with fleshly desires and expectations while putting ourselves above all else that we end up in a situation where we are disappointed in our lives.
Continue reading “Trusting God in Hard Times”
I just have one question. Did your wife had any consequences for how she rebelled before God when she divorced you and left with another man? The same happened to me with my husband and sometimes the devil attacks me with thoughts that He will live happy with her and will be with her the way he never was with me. I know those thoughts are not from God but just wondered about your wife.
Continue reading “Question from Adriana”
God gave us our mind and body for a reason, and they can be a powerful tool in changing how we feel. I am not talking about avoidance or denial; I am talking about choosing to feel different, to feel happy. Our body can influence our emotions if we are moping and slouched over you may find yourself depressed and sad. Think about the next time you feel sad or if you can remember the last time what your body was doing. Try pulling your shoulders back, sitting up straight, take a few deep breaths, and SMILE. Some of the best ways I found to change how I feel are things like:
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Have you ever felt like just giving up? Not being a Christian any more? Honestly, I have a few times in my life but when it comes down to it I was meant to be this way. I don’t like much of what the world has to offer. I read the bible and that is the kind of person I want to be. I want to love, I want peace, I want salvation, I want to be slow to anger… Yet, I continually am falling short but if I can get past my self condemnation maybe I can be used by God. For many satan is their worst enemy but it seems for me, I am my worst enemy. My flesh won’t give me a minute of peace some days. Some days I am screwing up minutes after repenting for something I did before.
Continue reading “Getting in the Battle”
It has been several months since I have attended a church service and I finally went tonight. A new church and all. It was amazing because last night I met with Jeff Brown, the author of “Working Through the Crisis” and the sermon almost was a recording of what we had discussed.
Okay so maybe you found this site because you are going through a terrible time in your life but whether it be good or bad, God has a plan! I often forget this, and I become so self-focused that I am constantly trying to push forward so hard that I get ahead of God and end up causing myself additional hardship and stress.
Continue reading “God has a Plan”