Although many put up a cold front, few if any of us walk away from a divorce, no matter how amicable, unscathed. A divorce is essentially a fracture. Two pieces that were once joined together; in marriage, through bank accounts, children, friends and family have now split apart and the result: a broken heart. But God is a healer. He heals the sick and the lepers and most importantly, he also heals the broken hearts.
Unforgiveness grows into bitterness and resentment, poisonous emotions that torture you. These emotions cause stress and pressureand can lead to unhealthy physical and emotional ailments. Unforgiveness does not torture the person that wronged you it only tortures you. It creates suffering.
Unforgiveness and resentment are the ties that bind you to the past, to the wrong that was brought upon you. It is impossible to leave the past behind and get on with your life while you are living in unforgiveness. It causes bitterness and resentment, which overflows into your present day. Bitterness is a very slow form of destroying one’s peace of mind. It prolongs the hurt and makes you miserable.
Continue reading “Unforgiveness: The Root of Bitterness”
Submitted by Ruthann Clayton
Wisdom and discernment, lost arts of ages past.
I say to my daughter, ‘ Be more concerned about your inner character than your outer beauty. My own mother said this once to me, and I never forgot. It was wisdom. What a sharp turn we have taken as a world so preoccupied with the outward appearance, that we have forgotten that the packaging is not the package, the wrapping is not the gift. At least, that I feel is true in the west. I was fortunate enough to travel and tour rural south africa where this clarity and contrast struck me the most. No where had I ever seen poverty and wealth coexist to such an extreme. And while sharing a meal in a poverty stricken village I saw not only riches in their loss, but beauty surpassing the wealth of neighbours. I also saw those in poverty bitter and drug addicted. It levelled in my mind the chasm between classes and reminded me once again, you can dress up a donkey, but a donkey is still a donkey.
Continue reading “Beauty”
Submitted by Ruthann Clayton
The construction of the soul is built with many pieces. If one block is missing, the entire structure is compromised.
The fundamental building blocks are the most critical and have the greatest consequence and impact. These blocks are acceptance: that our being is welcomed in to the world, validation: that our being is valued and of worth, uniqueness: we bring something to the world that gives us purpose, one that we alone are destined to fulfill, and connection: we are joined to others in the journey and are interdependent on each other. Upon these blocks the rest of the soul flows.
Continue reading “Love Yet to Be”
Love is putting others before yourself. Love is finding forgiveness for others regardless of how they have wronged you. Love is loving God more than you love yourself. Love is putting your feelings aside so that God can work in a situation. Love is letting go of someone so that God can work in them. Love is letting yourself cry instead of holding it in. Love is.
Continue reading “What is Love”
Here is an email I received from a visitor and thought I would share it. I usually enjoy reading what is going on in other people’s lives and I think it helps others to relate.
My experience, I was married to my husband for 19yrs. after locking myself up in apartment for a year after divorce I then ventured online to a Christian dating sight. I liked the idea of an online dating sight because I could “just talk” behind a screen, in the safety of my home. I met some guys (online only) that were real jerks, couple lead me on pretty good an caused “naive me” some real heart hurt, but it was good lesson learned, an caused me to be more skeptical an careful. I met (online only) some successful, good looking, good Christian men, that really boosted my ego, which I needed after coming from a mostly emotionally abusive marriage. Then (after deciding to no longer talk to those who lived too far away). I met some good Christian men in my area with some common interests, I decided to venture out on some first dates with those who seemed sincere an safe, …. eeeks! I soon learned, I’m shallow! Found out that no matter how wonderful they are, I have to have chemistry an will no longer try to make chemistry happen as it just doesn’t work for me, lol.
I’ve learned my instincts are pretty good an I should not doubt them. I learned meeting in public place is a rule that needs to be kept! I learned that long distance relationships are a waste of time unless one of us wins the lottery or neither of us enjoys each others company. I learned that men are needy an lonely too an will tell you whatever you want to hear to just get the ball rolling. I learned that the fantasy is usually better than the reality. I learned that being told I’m pretty had a lot of power on my emotions early on, but that those words are usually used with many others online by the same guy an should not be allowed to have so much influence. Now many of these things I already knew, but when you are lonely an fantasize of the romantic fairytale your never had, it’s funny how you have to relearn these things.
Continue reading “Stacey on Dating after Divorce”
His love and mercy are the ultimate authority.
Six years ago I joined a divorce support group at a local Catholic church where I was tremendously blessed to meet a young mother who quickly became a close friend. She and I were going through very similar circumstances and our paths continued to run parallel. Together we saw each other through the long, drawn out termination of dysfunctional marriages and years of subsequent persecution inside and outside of the courthouse.
Continue reading “Jesus the Just Judge”
God’s love for each of us is very personal.
One evening almost ten years ago I was resting in the spare bedroom of our former home and suddenly a huge book appeared before me. The book was open to a section that described the Sacrament of Marriage as designed by God for humanity. Words were visible on the two pages before me as in any book, but I understood what was written without having to read the words, and was deeply moved by the intelligence and great beauty of what was written. Then I was instructed to keep my focus on eternity.
Continue reading “Keep Your Focus on Eternity”