Dare to be Happy

dare to be happy

We all want to achieve a level of happiness and success where we aren’t dependent on anyone or anything, but unfortunately, that is always possible. It seems as life throws a couple of curve balls our way we begin to tighten our grip on the things we fear losing the most. The tighter you squeeze, the faster it slips between your fingers, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

As I look back on a few hurdles in my life, I see where things played out exactly like this. The harder I tried to hold on to marriage, my wife no longer wanted, the worse it got. Until finally during a counseling session, it was suggested to me to let her go. Then it was money; I wanted more of it to provide a better life for my daughter, but the more frugal I became it seemed there was always something to hit me in the pocketbook; high gas prices, car repair, medical bill, etc. I stopped giving to church and charity to try and get where I wanted to be, however, that place never came. Then I decided to look for a new relationship and everywhere I went I had that one thought (goal) to meet someone. This became quite frustrating as it seemed nearly impossible to find the happiness I craved. Forcing it or being too needy only made things worse. Everyone told me that I would find love when I wasn’t looking for it… bleh!
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How to Heal a Broken Heart

heal a broken heart

Broken relationships lead to broken hearts and the fresher the breakup, the more hopeless the situation appears. It’s been said that time heals all wounds but some people let the hurts from their past build walls of bitterness and distrust, self-pity and poor self-esteem. They can perform their daily functions and find happiness from time to time but living a life like this is not true healing. Fortunately, you don’t have to live this way as there are things that you can do to heal a broken heart.

People often feel alone after a relationship falls apart. Clearly, the situation has changed, and the normalcies that you have grown accustomed too are gone, but remember, God is with you even if it doesn’t feel like it. He is aware of your pain, He cares and He desires to help you through the pain.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

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Tips for Working Single Parents

tips for working single parents

Children have physical, mental and emotional needs. It is relatively easy to see that children need food and shelter but understanding mental and emotional needs can be challenging because children don’t always know how to communicate their needs to us and we may often misinterpret their behavior.

As working single parents that have gone through a divorce, we might feel even more pressure to have our children grow up with a healthy self-esteem, positive outlook on life and good mental and emotional health. Life can be overwhelming at times as a single parent, and it is easy to let things slip through the cracks when it comes to our children.

The most important thing working parents can do is to show children unconditional love. They are adjusting during times of separation and change and may not be used to both parents working and especially living in separate households. This period of adjustment is going to require patience, love, and understanding.
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Be the Miracle

be the miracle

It seems like our view of a miracle isn’t what it used to be. Biblical miracles tend to revolve around raising people from the dead, healing the blind, making water into wine, and feeding the masses. Today a miracle can be finding our keys, getting to work on time, or making it through one more crummy day.

Divorce has a way of making life seem miserable. The pain can be unimaginable, and it feels like it won’t take anything less than a miracle to survive one more day.

Our physical, financial, and emotional state are in despair yet, if we trust in God, something begins to happen. Our spiritual state grows, and our relationship with God multiplies. Even though we are grieving, we find that we have faith that everything is going to work out eventually. God didn’t do this to us, and He did not abandon us. It takes time to heal from the pain of divorce and get back on your feet. And nearly half the population of the United States will have to walk this road unless there is a morality shift.
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Why Bad Things Happen

why bad things happen

We have all wondered at times why God allows bad things to happen; divorce, the death of children, natural disasters, etc. Does everything happen for a reason? Is everything happening according to God’s plan? When we are struggling with loss, pain, and hopelessness questions arise that may cause us to question our faith. As we reach out to others hoping to make some sense of the chaos we come across two typical Christian responses.
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Finding Happiness

finding happiness

It is every person’s goal to find happiness and feel important. Often people go through life never knowing what it is like to truly be happy because they are chasing after the wrong things, like the superficial things of the world that never satisfy.

Going through a divorce or suffering from a significant loss can make a person feel they will never be happy again. Self-talk, like “My life is terrible.” reflects these feelings and creates what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Finding happiness is nearly impossible without the right mindset and you need to understand it is your thoughts and self-talk that directs your life and how you feel.
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Reaching Out to Others

reaching out to others

It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are or how you feel, reaching out to others helps us feel better. Jesus was continually reaching out, helping others and we are called to do the same. No matter if you are struggling with divorce, trying to rebuild your life, or in a place of peace and joy you can greatly benefit by serving and blessing others.

Luke 6:35

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

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The Loneliness Cure

loneliness cure

I remember what it was like to be lonely, every riveting moment of it. The long hours that would sometimes seem like days and the lonely nights. It is hard to talk about being lonely with others, many times people don’t seem to understand the impact loneliness is having on your life because they’ve either forgotten or haven’t suffered through a divorce. To better cope with loneliness you need to understand it.

Loneliness is an emotional state. In this state, regular people such as you and I experience a disconnection from people around us which leads to deep feelings of emptiness.

Loneliness can strike in at any time, whether you are in a large crowd or by yourself. Loneliness should not be confused with being alone. Being alone can be good from time to time. Loneliness on the other hand usually involves self-pity which isn’t fruitful at all.
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Adultery – Can a Marriage Survive?

can marriage survive adultery

Ideally, God would want us to avoid divorce, but it takes two people working for a common goal. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. If a person commits adultery then God provides a valid reason for divorce, it is one of few exceptions.

Matthew 19:9 “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Even though there are grounds for divorce, it shouldn’t be the first option people choose. The question that needs to be addressed is; can a marriage survive adultery?

Adultery doesn’t just happen overnight; it usually takes time to build to that point. I would venture to guess that it is a rare occurrence that anyone would get married with adultery being on the table. Adultery may be a physical act. However, it isn’t the root cause. Often adultery occurs because there are other unmet needs and wants. People have affairs because they meet someone that makes them feel needed, heard, valuable, desirable and understood. For some reason, the communication between husband and wife has broken down to the point where these needs aren’t being met.
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