In the Eyes of a Winner

in the eyes of a winner

There is no doubt that we all want to be winners and in all actuality we are. However, when life throws us a curve ball, our self-importance or significance could become a bit skewed. I am not referring to the way we think of ourselves compared to man but the way God views us; through His loving eyes. In the eyes of God, we are winners; we are His children, and each of us has a purpose.

I know after my divorce I felt more like a failure than a winner. I even addressed it in the article, “Am I a Failure”.

With the New Year approaching it is as good a time as any to change the way you think about yourself. New Year’s resolutions are always being made only to be broken. So might I suggest that you take this time to truly set some short-term goals that you are going to keep and may one of those be that you are a winner?
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Hopeful Living after Divorce

hopeful living after a divorce

Day by day as you go on and on, as you gain momentum, as your inspiration deepens, as your plans become a reality, you will realize that your life and this world is no longer the desolate and hurtful place that it once used to feel like. As God works in your heart, you will realize that the earth is a living thing. It is made up of beating hearts and is a thing of life and beauty.

As you walk away from ground zero, the day your spouse left, you will face trials and feel many mixed emotions, but as time creeps on eventually things will improve and you will come to a new understanding, you will be inspired by a new light, gain confidence and power each day. You will have new hopes and dreams that will come true while your life takes on a deeper, fuller, clearer meaning than before.

God wants nothing but the best for you, but you have to want it for yourself as well. You have to let God in, and you have to do your part. Everything takes work and the harder you work, the more rewarding it will be. Hopeful living after divorce is not a pipe dream; it is a reality that will happen when you put your mind to it.
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How to be a Shining Light

how to be a shining light

There are those people that seem to attract everything they want in life easily; power, wealth, success, love, and happiness all seem to be at their fingertips. Then there are those that acquire these things with great difficulty and some fail altogether to reach their ambitions, desires, and goals. Why is this? It isn’t a physical trait else everyone with perfect bodies and fantastic physical health would be the most successful. The difference, therefore, must be in the mind – it must be mental. If you think about everything you have and haven’t done, everything you wished you could do but didn’t – it would likely boil down to the mental obstacles that you have placed in your path.

I know many of you are struggling right now with your thoughts and feelings. Rightly so; a divorce is a traumatic event, and it will go after your mental faculties, and if unchecked it will take you down to new depths. Depths that will prevent you from obtaining the things you desire and the life you deserve as a child of God.
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Managing Crisis with Other People

managing crisis with other people

There is no getting around it; there will be a crisis in your life, my life, everyone’s life. With this said many years ago Dr. Hornell Hart wrote about the five possible ways of reacting to the crisis, and I think they are important to understanding as well as know where you fit.

Managing crisis with other people in your life, whether big or small, is critical to building character and living a life dedicated to serving God in joy and peace – so without further to do let’s get started.
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Practicing Communication

practicing communication

For a long time, I thought I was a good communicator, but the truth was I had a lot of improving to do. I had good intentions, but intentions don’t always add up to much. I didn’t realize the areas of improvement until things started to go wrong at work. I started having employee issues and was completely caught off guard on several occasions. In fact, things were blowing up right under my nose, and I did not see it… hmm – sounds like my marriage!

Even at the age of thirty-something, I am still being schooled in the art of communication. I have learned that communication is like a pyramid and the higher you get, the more intimate communication is. The problem I was having was not understanding what people, women in general, require. They like the small talk, to talk about their weekend, and their kids – my problem was I liked to come in and jump straight to work, I had not worked my way up. (Side note: men tend to deal with this better than women, so I have been told)
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Whats Personality Have to do With it

whats personality have to do with it

Recently I was looking through some old books in my office and stumbled across a personality profile on none other than myself. I guess I could look at this in a couple of ways, do I dare read it and find out a thing or two about myself or do I chuck it with the notion that I am pretty together? Well, I decided if anything it could be worth a laugh or two.

As I was reading, I was intrigued by just how much the personality profile knew about me, good and bad. For general purposes, I was looking for areas of improvement and I did find a couple. For starters, it talks about me and conflict – “In general people such as me don’t believe in this concept. The only conflict is when someone disagrees with our point of view, which we assume to be correct. Therefore, conflict resolution can become an exercise in converting the other person over to our point of view.” I do this!! Good area to work on, wouldn’t you think?
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Grow, Learn and Find Happiness

grow learn and find happiness

“It’s not what happens to You, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus

I have been through a lot in my life. I have made many bad choices and gone down path after path that only lead to pain and suffering. The sad part is, these were all choices that I made. I was too good to listen to anyone that wanted to help me, and I was in control of my life, so I thought. I was only kidding myself. That was until I realized just how bad off I was and in need of God – a God that would rescue me from my self-destructive nature and selfishness.

I would have thought by the time I got divorced nothing would have phased me. To my surprise, it floored me! Emotional pain is one of the worst, if not the worst, type of pain that I ever had to deal with and there aren’t many things that hurt more than a supposed life-long partner walking out. I persevered, I grew, and most importantly I learned.
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Total Wellness

total wellness

When we decide to engage in making changes in our lives towards obtaining wellness, it means we are aware of and actively working towards better health. This isn’t simply speaking about physical health or spiritual health but much more.

Divorce is devastating, and afterward, you have many choices. You can live in denial or anger, rush into a new relationship, you can live in self-pity and sadness, you can numb the pain with alcohol, or you can fix the problems that caused the divorce in the first place. Many may think, “But it was he/she who caused the divorce (for one reason or another)” but the God’s honest truth is things have been messed up for some time, and you are part of it. Whether you feel like a victim or not you can and need to strive for complete balance and wellness.
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