Coparenting Basics

Co-parenting after divorce or separation is going to have its challenges. It isn’t always easy to put your children’s feeling and needs ahead of your own when you are going through such a devastating time in your life. Remember that they are too and if they ever needed you, now is the time.

During divorce people not only fear the loss of their spouse but of their children as well. I know for me I dreaded not being with my daughter, I felt as if she would forget who I was, that I would miss out on teaching her to ride her bike, or her first day of school – this coming from a father that had 50 percent custody. Dads, don’t ever walk away from your children and don’t settle for every other weekend because they need you much more. Whether it feels like it or not parenting is always going to be a full-time job and both parents need to put the children ahead of themselves… as Yoda would say, “Do or do not… there is no try.” Here are some tips to help you “DO”.

10 Co-Parenting Tips

Each parent has different and valuable contributions to make to their child’s development so try and recognize what they are in each other.
Studies have shown that children do their best when BOTH parents are involved in their lives; this includes school, after school activities, and frequent contact.
As much as they fight it, children do need routine and structure and this should be at both parent’s home. Things such as meals and bedtime should be fairly consistent.
Help your children keep existing relationships with friends and family as well as activities that they are involved in.
Here is a real tough one because it was difficult during marriage; but communication and cooperation is critical in arranging children’s activities.
Rules should be consistent at both households. Doing this creates a sense of security for the children.
When the children are going back and forth from mom and dads they should be allowed to bring personal items with them no matter who purchased them.
Don’t expose your children to conflict; don’t argue and fight in front of them or where they can hear you. Pick up and drop offs should be civil. You don’t have to be all lovely but at the least you should be business-like.
The essence of good parenting is to reassure your children that they are loved, cared for and protected by both parents.
Maintain consistency so children can reasonably rely on being with the same parent at the same time each week.

Here is a pdf that goes a little more in detail of what children require after their parents divorce. What Children Need!

Recent Children of Divorce Articles

Fighting Parental Alienation
Over the years we have seen family dynamics changing; fathers are taking a more active role in raising the children as mothers are pursuing careers. Unfortunately, many families are broken up due to divorce and if couples aren’t able to put their di...
Telling Children About Divorce
No child wants to hear that their parents are getting a divorce but it should not keep you from telling him the truth. It is important to understand what your child may struggle with as their parents go their separate ways. They may feel lost and uncer...
Self Help Child Custody
Divorce is a family issue and for marriages that involve children it can be messy and expensive. Defending your rights as a parent is critical when going through a divorce because how it plays out will determine the amount of time you get to spend with...
Father Child Custody: Sole Custody
What is sole custody – is an arrangement whereby only one parent has physical and legal custody of a child (the other parent typically gets what is referred to as visitation rights). Most fathers that have gone through a divorce understand that th...
Fathers and Daughters after Divorce
Parenting is one of the most important missions God has given fathers. To our daughters we are the most important man in their lives. The family unit is designed to teach our children what it is supposed to be like when a loving father and mother put G...

Helping Children Cope with Divorce Book

Smart Divorce, Raise Happy, Healthy Kids gives you a step-by-step plan for guiding your children safely through the troubled waters of divorce and helping them adjust to the new family situation: