Wow! Where do you start when it comes to dealing with anger and divorce? There are just so many unanswered questions and conflicting feelings that can make the situation overwhelming. Anger is something that tends to build especially as new information becomes available. Maybe your spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore.” “I met someone else.” Or one of many other excuses!
I could not believe this was happening to me! Didn’t being a Christian matter anymore, what about our covenant before God? The anger I felt blinded me, and I could not see God. Not only was I angry at her but I was mad at God, myself, and everyone else around me.
On more than one occasion I spoke my mind to both my ex and God (not in a good way). The sad part was it did not make me feel any better. It is one thing to humble yourself before God and ask forgiveness but quite another to do it with an ex. It was obvious I was angry, and much of it was justified, but I was not dealing with it in a healthy manner. I regret letting it get the best of me at times. Even more absurd was, How could I blame God for this mess that I have gotten myself into?
It was clear that I was acting childish and I needed to grow-up, accept my part and use the pain to deal with who I am and who I want to be. I knew that I could change, be a better person, and allow God to work in my life.
The more I released my anger to God and chose not to be angry anymore I was better equipped to deal with the situation at hand. What’s done is done, and we can’t go back and undo the past, but we can learn from our mistakes and forge a new and better future for ourselves.
Yes, anger is part of the healing process when it comes to divorce and I imagine that everyone that goes through it will have anger issues to some degree, but not everyone has to let it get the best of them as I did. Don’t let your anger consume you and drive you into darkness and bitterness. Dealing with your anger is a freeing experience, and it allows you to focus on yourself and implement the necessary changes in your life to make better decisions in the future.
Tips for Dealing with Anger
There are many different things you can do to deal with anger. Here are a few:
- Talking to friends and family
- Talking to a pastor at church
- Finding a divorce recovery support group
- Getting prayer
- Helping others by volunteering
- Get professional counseling
There are many ways to deal with anger but you first need to recognize it and then choose to manage it.