Divorce Recovery Questions and Answers
After close to 4 years of marriage my spouse chose to divorce and go her separate way. When she told me I was devastated, I did not know what to do nor did I understand how this could be happening. It was more than losing my spouse it was not being able to be with my daughter as much as I am used too. I found myself angry at God for allowing this to happen, of course it was not His fault but at the time I needed to rationalize my feelings and it was easier to blame Him than myself.
As time went on during the separation I experienced God’s love and grace over and over again. I was able to turn my bitterness and anger towards God and my spouse to love and hope. I came to see that God hates divorce and if there is any way to avoid it than that is what needs to be done. I pursued that with a passion, doing what I could to prove myself to my spouse that I can be better, that I do love her and want the family to stay together.
After several months of this I found out that I was being led on and my spouse had no desire to stay in the marriage, in fact she was already in another relationship and in her mind our marriage was over. My feelings at this point I don’t think I could describe but I imagine there are a few out there that can relate.
It was at this point I finally accepted that the divorce was inevitable. Shortly afterward the paperwork was finalized and I found myself feeling and asking many of the following questions:.
- Why did this happen?
- What do I do now?
- When will I stop hurting so badly?
- Have the past few years been a waste of time?
- Am I a failure?
- What do I do to keep this from happening again?